Inspiration For The Journey

We've Moved!

2008-08-07T20:44:00.004-04:00

Greetings!

Inspiration for the Journey has moved...the blog is growing into something bigger and better at:

Everything that's on this site has been added to that site as well. Come visit us there for the latest info, blog posts, events, resources and more!

See you over there...
Valerie Love

Stuff Management Process

2008-08-04T22:56:00.005-04:00

The other day I was conducting a coaching call with a client when it struck me that most people who have succeeded to a great degree have a Stuff Management Process.

What's that? To me, a Stuff Management Process (SMP) is a technical term for:

1. Learning what keeps me from moving forward (hereby known as 'my stuff')

2. Owning 'my stuff' (not blaming my lack of success on my mate, my parents, my kids, the dog, the cat...)

3. Making the decision to do something about 'my stuff' (no choice is still a choice)

4. Actually creating & implementing systems to manage 'my stuff' whenever it rears its ugly head (i.e. - creating a SMP)

So, with that said, what's a Stuff Management Process?

Before I answer that, let's talk a little more about 'stuff'.

I love Cher. To me, she's an icon. When she steps on stage she's the epitome of poise and confidence. So I was rather shocked to hear her say, at 61 years of age, that she still has stage fright and freaks out just before she takes the stage. She's now performing in Vegas in a huge auditorium and gets the shakes just before she goes on.

That's stuff.

Stuff is anything that:

keeps you from your authentic greatness
tries to undermine your usefulness or value
makes you think you don't know or can't do it
makes you feel stuck or paralyzed
keeps you in little-ness
neutralizes your power

That's stuff.

Now, what happens in Cher's case is that she has a friend who's been with her for years who slaps her (not really) and kicks her out onto the stage. The friend told Cher "If God didn't want you to be doing this, He never would have pointed at you in your bassinet and said "Sequins!"

Cher's friend helps set her mind right for getting out on stage by reminding her of her authentic greatness and her natural talent and ability--which she's worked hard at for decades--earning her the right to be on stage.

Whether she knows it or not, Cher's friend is part of Cher's Stuff Management Process. When Cher's stuff comes up, the friend helps her manage it. Cher then puts her stuff aside and steps out on stage to deliver an amazing performance. Every time.

That's what a SMP can do for you. It allows you to put your stuff aside so you can do the amazing.

Let's be real, everyone has stuff. It's a human thing. Gotta love it. The key is to not be over-run, paralyzed, neutralized or slowed down by your stuff. A Stuff Management Process allows you to shine in spite of your stuff, no matter how much of it you have.

Some stuff will go away after we've gained experience, which breeds confidence. Other stuff will go away when we discover that it's a flat out lie (most of us lie to ourselves on a regular basis--every I can't, don't know, wouldn't, shouldn't is a lie). Some stuff never goes away. The key is to manage it effectively in order to achieve high success.

I've got some stuff that's been hanging around for years, whereas when I look back my old journals, I see I've worked through lots of stuff and have forgotten it. If it's still there, its effects are negligible.

Here are 7 components you can use to create a Stuff Management Process that's effective enough to breed high success:

1. Get a coach. Accountability is a huge stuff eliminator. When there's something we really, really, really want, and we're willing to do what it takes to bring it into reality, accountability is a good thing. When we're trying to force ourselves to fulfill a 'should' that doesn't touch core passions, accountability is a pain. Don't get accountability to do the things you think you should be doing, get accountability to do the things you're passionate about and truly desire to do. There's a huge difference.

2. Get a really honest friend (who's also successful) who loves you enough to tell you the truth. Cher's backstage friend is the perfect example. She's been with Cher for years, is honest enough to tell her the truth and is willing to give her the figurative slap in the face she needs to step into her greatness. The reason you want the person who fills this role to be highly successful is because you want someone who's personally demonstrated a commitment to success so they can support you in being committed to your own success. Besides, they won't be threatened by your gifts and potential. They want only the best for you, which is whatever level of success you desire to achieve.

3. Start writing. Sit down and write down your goals. Write down everything you want. I know you've heard this a 7,000 times, and here it is again. It's surprising to me, as a coach, just how many people have no clear idea of what they want, because they haven't taken the time to work through their desires on paper. This process is like cooking in the reverse. When everything stays in your head, it's a pot of stew with all the ingredients mixed together. When you put your ideas on paper, you can begin to take the idea apart and see the essential ingredients necessary for your recipe. Don't keep your goals in your head, write them down. The simple act of writing it all down is so powerful because it moves your desires from the the invisible realm of thought to the manifest world of form. It becomes an invaluable first step in the creation process, and you'll notice forward momentum in spite of your stuff.

4. Set Powerful Intentions. What's a powerful intention? It's an emphatic statement to the universe of what you're going for and of what you desire to experience. (In another post, I'll offer some of my intention statements.) Intention statements clarify in your mind why you're doing what you're doing. When you take the time to craft an intention statement, you're taking the time to give attention to what you're expecting out of the experience. Knowing why you're doing something is critical for success. Once again, it's got to be fueled by passions. That's what moves you through (and past) all your stuff, the passionate desire and intention to create something great.

5. Create Affirmations. I know you've heard this one 7,000 times too, but I'm saying it again. Affirmations re-shape the subconscious mind. It has the same effect as a mantra. When something is repeated over and over and over and over and over and over again, the conscious mind shuts down and the words can then sink down into the subconscious mind, where immense power lies. Tony Robbins called it the sleeping giant. Your affirmative words will wake the giant and get it moving. Once your giant is awakened and moving, stuff runs out of the way. (In another post I'll share some of my affirmations and the effects they've had.) For example, stating: I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can is powerful. Even saying: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes louder and louder each time is transforming and clears out stuff.

6. Flooding. Flood your mind with positive messages, inspirational stories and tales of folks who have accomplished success to a super-human and super-natural degree. Flood your consciousness with information and inspiration that proves to the dis-believing part of your mind that you can create super-human results too. (More on the process of Flooding, along with step-by-step instructions in a post later this week.)

7. Pray. Everything changes and shifts when we pray. I read a great quote the other day from Science of Mind, written by Ernest Holmes: "Prayer does something to the mind of the one praying." Make no mistake, God doesn't need you to pray to Her. She's good. She'll live without your prayers. However, you need prayer to get past your stuff.

So there you have it, 7 components you can add to your own Stuff Management Process. There are an infinite number of ways to clear stuff, or move past it. It doesn't matter what you use, as long as it's effective for you. One person's SMP may not be effective for the next person. Be creative.

Do learn to manage your stuff. It will make the difference between a life of mediocrity riddled with regret and what-if's, and a life of high success characterized by fulfillment, immense joy and deep gratitude for being able to move past stuff and create the miraculous.

Remember the four steps at the outset: know your stuff, own your stuff, decide to do something about your stuff, then create and implement a plan and process to consistently move past your stuff.

It works!

Blessings for your high success,
Valerie Love

Sitting before a coffin

2008-08-01T21:31:00.008-04:00

Today was the home going service for Alphonso, a dear friend's husband. It was a beautiful service. What struck me most were the words used to describe Alphonso. I didn't know him well, yet, by the time the service was concluded, I felt so much closer to this compassionate human being. Here's what was said about him:

Compassionate
Warm smile
Humble
Never complained
Healer
Kind
Polite
Soft-spoken
Kind and meek, yet powerful
Quiet confidence

The comments were consistent from everyone who spoke about him; family, friends, co-workers and the health ministry at church. They all said the same things, while those who knew him nodded their heads in agreement.

This man was a kind, compassionate, confident, humble and gifted healer.

He lived well.

The pastor who conducted the service spoke of Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In that work, Dr. Covey asks us to picture the day we will be eulogized. The exercise is sobering, especially when sitting before a coffin.

What will people say about you when you're gone?

Dr. Covey's point in offering the exercise is that there is often a great divide between what we hold as important and what we actually do on a daily basis. You may say that living on purpose is important to you, yet you work at a job that's far removed from doing what you love. There's little lasting satisfaction in that, which is how most folks live.

Sitting before a coffin is at once life-affirming and thought-provoking.

What am I doing with my life?
What destiny am I creating?
What legacy am I leaving?
Who will be different because I was here?
To whom am I offering myself?
Whose life am I helping to transform?
How am I contributing to the evolution of human consciousness?

In my book, I write about a story I read a while ago. When we die, and meet with God face to face, we are shown two movies. One movie is the way our earthly life proceeded. The second movie is the way our life would have proceeded had we lived up to our God-gifted potential and done the important work God sent us here to do.

I made up my mind the day I read that story that the two movies God shows me will be identical.

What about you? Life here is finite. Lessons are to be learned and incorporated in each forward step so as to live wisely, on purpose in service. In the time allotted you, however long it may be, be wise, live richly and act compassionately. Here's what I now know--on a deeper level--is of utmost importance, and what I have re-committed myself to doing as a result of sitting before a coffin:

Live your destiny; create a legacy.

Give much. Expect nothing in return.
(Service is often thankless.)

Be kind and compassionate to everyone.

Stand powerfully yet always remember to be humble.

Keep learning and growing.

Never give up.

Love deeply.

Judge not.

Forgive everyone for everything.

Forgive everyone for everything.
(Yes, I wrote it twice, I need the repetition.)

Offer praise and gratitude in great measure in every moment.

Live in the present moment, you are not assured of waking up tomorrow.

Just a few short days ago, Alphonso laid across his bed and never woke up. His next stop was God's bosom. One day, you too will walk away with the Angel of death.

Be ever mindful of what is most important to you each day that God's sun shines upon your head in this natural world.

I thank God for you,
Valerie Love

A river of tears in heaven

2008-07-31T10:57:00.006-04:00

My e-mail address is in my book, so I often get e-mails from readers. This morning I wrote a response to a reader who commented on how much she loved the book (God Speaks to Me) and asked several questions related to her situation (the details of which I won't go into here for purposes of confidentiality). Suffice it to say that her life was topsy-turvy, with lots of things that she didn't want. Her pain was palpable.

As I wrote to her, I recalled what came to me this morning:

Every tear that has ever been shed by
every human being is collected by an angel
and delivered to God, where it is gently placed
in a river of tears in heaven.

When the idea came to me this morning, that my every tear was collected by an angel, I was instantly comforted, and relieved. I was a little awe-struck too. How could that be?

God is listening after all. Always.

God sees every tear, and dispatches an angel to collect it. Every tear is precious. No tear that has ever fallen from a human eye has been missed. Each tear has been carefully and lovingly collected and dutifully delivered to the river of tears which flows in heaven.

How awesome is that?

How loving is that?

The depth of love in this knowing is unfathomable by the human mind. Suffice it to say that we are each and all deeply loved. Even when the tears are flowing, even when the pain is searing, we are each and all deeply loved.

And each time we shed a tear, angels are standing by to collect each one.

Your every tear has been attended to by its own angel on a journey to the river of tears in heaven.

You never cry in vain. You are heard. You are comforted and surrounded by the awesome band of tear collectors who have never missed a tear yet and never will.

This is awesome to even write about, even more to know that it has been my actual experience and the experience of every human being who has ever lived. We are loved to that extent and beyond.

When you think you are alone in the night when your tears fall heavy upon the pillow, remember, you are not.

With great loving care, God's tear collectors are there.

God bless you,
Valerie Love

A fish out of water

2008-07-30T21:52:00.007-04:00

Today, while walking the pier with my 7-year-old daughter Varonika, we caught a glimpse of an unusual experience for us.

There were people on the pier fishing, as usual. The difference is that this time, one of the lines that was in the water was yanking this way and that. The man whose line it belonged to jumped up and ran over. Much to his surprise, there was a huge catfish on the line, thrashing about in the water in a vain attempt to get free. The other people who were on the pier near him ran over, sensing something big. We ran over too, because it looked like he and his friend were shocked at what they were looking at over the edge.

He hesitated to pull the line in because he thought it would break under the weight of the big fish. The pier is about 10-12 feet above the water. His concern was understandable. After all, he'd have to pull the big fish up ever so carefully in order not to break the line.

With encouragement from the others, one of whom said "I knew I should have bought my net!" he was able to gingerly and gently lift the fish out of the bay without breaking his line. Cheers followed. Everyone was excited. The fishermen who had gathered stood marveling at how the hook was in the fish's mouth. I didn't know what they were talking about. I don't fish.

Anyway, Varonika and I had an interesting experience on our morning walk.

It got me to thinking about what I read in the Bible book of Matthew just the other day. Soon after being baptized, Jesus went to the sea where he saw two fishermen, Simon Peter and his brother Andrew, casting their nets. He said to them,

"Come after Me [as disciples--letting me be your Guide],
follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men!"
(Matthew 4:19 - AMP)

It's intriguing to me that,

"At once they left their nets and became His disciples..."

Just like that. No questions asked. No explanations needed. No, "I'll get back to you Jesus, let me check in at home with the family, have a chat with my friends to see if being your disciple is a good idea..."

He asked, they answered. That's big.

I think I'm more like the catfish I saw this morning being pulled from the bay kicking and screaming. I know I have an invitation from the Lord. The invitation is to come home, to be a disciple of truth, which will enable me to live an exceedingly better life, following the path of love and compassion set by Christ.

Yet, I'm not always willing. I'm reluctant to leave my surroundings, even when I'm being drawn higher. When I've been hooked and engaged by the most masterful Fisherman of them all, I try to pull away, break free and swim in the other direction. The difference is that the Great Fisherman is drawing me to life. The hook is the hold God has on me and won't ever let go of. I feel the gentle pull, drawing me higher ever so gently and gingerly, yet I still find myself sometimes resisting, even in the presence of my deep desire and longing to draw closer.

I'm only fighting myself. I'm a fish out of water, flipping and flapping around, just like the catfish.

When I try, in a vain attempt, to resist the upward pull of Life, the invitation, the draw to higher living, I suffer. I'm a fish out of water.

When I respond to the invitation to come up higher, to come to a new level of living, to draw closer to the Omnipotent One, I prosper and thrive.

Yes, seeing that catfish thrashing about today taught me something. I'll remember him the next time I find myself putting up resistance to the upward pull of Life.

Love,
Valerie

90% Process, 10% Payoff

2008-07-29T22:02:00.003-04:00

Today I was talking with a coaching client when the subject of process came up. Something came to me that I thought I'd write about here:

Life is 90% process and 10% payoff.

I'll be climbing Mount Kilamanjaro in February of 2009. It would be wise for me to prepare in advance for the climb. When mountain climbers decide to take on a particular mountain, preparation is essential to a successful climb.

The preparation to climb a mountain make take months, or even years, yet the peak moment, the payoff for all the hard work, lasts for but a moment. The time spent on top of the mountain celebrating is minuscule in comparison to the time it took to prepare for that payoff moment.

The same is true with any great endeavor we undertake. The process is probably 90% of the time, energy and work involved in the project, while the time actually spent at the end result, that peak moment, the pinnacle of success, the payoff for all the hard work, is only about 10%.

An Olympian prepares for years to stand on the tallest box in the middle for a few minutes with a gold medal around his/her neck. The time spent in process was years, the time spent at the pinnacle a few minutes.

Sure, there's lifetime bragging rights that come with each pinnacle moment, especially the ones we deem big. The gold-medal-winning Olympian only stands on the tallest box for a few minutes, yet he/she gets to talk about that moment for life.

Anyway, looking at life as being 90% process and 10% payoff has several advantages:

The process can be considered enjoyable (considering we'll spend most of life in process) and engaged in with greater enthusiasm, rather than being viewed as necessary steps to finish as quickly as possible so we can get to where we're going. Each step in the process holds a gem especially meant for our growth and learning. We miss these gems when we're tied up in anxious anticipation of the outcome. Waiting in the grocery store line behind the slowest people in the world can be a stressful experience when all focus is on trying to get out of the store and on to the next thing as fast as humanly possible. Another approach is to ask (in the middle of feeling impatient with the senior citizen who wants to pay by check) what am I learning here? How can I be more conscious and present in this right now moment? Perhaps someone needs a smile, or a prayer. When we are present in the right now moment, we are conscious enough to look around and determine what's needed right then.We get to be fully present to the inner voice of wisdom and guidance that may be offering something valuable in that moment and we come to focus our attention and energies on what's happening in the present moment without rushing ahead to outcomes.

Speaking of outcomes, we're not overly attached to them when we enjoy and embrace our process. Attachments beget suffering.

The process creates character, which is the real goal. The other tangible goals we set up for ourselves are simply temporary markers to let us know how well our process is working.

I used to tell my teenage daughter, who was anxious to get out of school, that there are valuable things to be learned in the process of going to school. In the mad dash to graduation day, valuable lessons can be overlooked.

When we try to rush through our process to get to the end result, we miss valuable lessons and gifts along the way. Remember,

Life is 90% process and 10% payoff.

Today, enjoy the process.

To your success,
Valerie Love

Death is simply transition

2008-07-28T11:14:00.006-04:00

Over the weekend, I received news that a friend's husband had passed, which was surprising to her because he'd been recovering from cancer treatment. In a sense, the guards were down and relief had set in when the determination was made by his doctors that he was cancer-free. His transition was most unexpected.

Why does news of a death bring back memories of other deaths? Why did I begin instantly thinking about my grandmother, who transitioned out of this life almost two years ago? I went right into sadness, not as much for my friend's husband as for myself and the transitions I've witnessed, and the memories that came rushing back.

When a surprising death catches us unawares, what surfaces, in addition to sadness, is the unanswerable question: why?

Which is not even a fair question, but in times such as these, fairness is not a consideration. Life isn't fair. And death isn't either.

Why? I don't know. I don't know why people go and why they go when they go. I wish I knew. Just when things seemed to be going well, and life seemed to be giving him another chance, the Angel of death came to visit.

The saving grace is trust; trust in the divine order of all happenings, trust in the perfect outworking of Life and trust in the Wisdom inherent in all things, people, places and situations. Always trusting that there is absolutely a layer of silver under every cloud, even when I don't see it and even when no hint of its existence is present.
Trust and faith are the twin pillars which keep me sane, hopeful and centered when the unexpected, unknown and unwanted strikes.

I trust. I really do. I want to trust even more. Trust pulls me through much, and it is God's saving grace for me now.

Trust informs that death is simply transition. There is no non-existence, there is simply transition from one way of being (physicality) back into another way of being (spirituality). Everyone is energy, and energy can never die. It simply changes form.

Today we trust the supreme wisdom, love and beauty of the life to death transition process. It is a process as necessary as eating and sleeping. This process of changing from one form to another--the transition process--is the stuff of life. We are all engaged in the ongoing beautiful process of transitioning from one form to another. Each day, we get a little closer to the day when we will transition out of physical being and back into the spiritual dimension.

It is necessary.

And it is inevitable.

Since our time in this earth school is finite, while we're here, we had better make it good. We have the opportunity now, while still brimming with life, to make a good name, to leave a legacy, so that when we are no longer in bodily form, what we've created lives on, ever enriching lives.

A wise king once said:

"A good name is better than precious perfume,
and the day of death better than
the day of one's birth."

Today we mourn.

Yet we remember the man, the good name and we remember the love.

And we trust, knowing that death is simply transition. No one is lost in the mind of God. There is only Life.

For this we are so grateful, Amen.

Blessings,
Valerie Love

Persistence Overrides Ineptitude

2008-07-25T23:57:00.004-04:00

"Persistence overrides ineptitude," I said to a good friend of mine tonight who was disenchanted with an error his publishing company had made with his most recent book. Thankfully, the book hasn't been printed yet and he can get the error corrected before the book goes to print.

We laughed at the statement when I made it, and he said he might even post it up as a reminder. It's a good reminder for me too, persistence overrides ineptitude.

It got me to thinking about my role in creating reality and how it sometimes becomes easy for me to blame folks for the things they do that I don't like, yet I have the power and ability to change my world anytime I want. We can change anything we want, just by deciding and taking conscious action.

With my friend's book, an error was made that he caught and is able to have corrected. The same is true of everyday experiences. Though folks can do things we don't like, and we spot ineptitude, our persistence in pursuing a life of excellence calls folks around us to a higher standard. When people learn that it's not okay to slip and slide around us (like the publishing company is learning with my friend) they come up to the higher standard we've set, or they leave.

Either way, we create our experience, and we are always empowered to call people to a higher level, even when they've been used to operating in ways that don't bring out their best. We've all been in situations where the folks we were dealing with were accustomed to lower standards, yet we wanted to raise the standard. In those moments, we have choices. Do we allow the slippage, or do we set a higher standard, hold ourselves to it and then hold others to it also? The latter requires more effort, but it's always worth it.

I find it's easier for me to slip when I'm around other slippery people. When I'm around people who I know are not slippery, who hold a high standard for their experience, who have a habit of walking in excellence, I do better. I'm called to a higher standard, and I rise to the occasion. Hence the need to hold a high standard for our choice of associates and friends.

What kind of standard do you have for yourself? Are you committed to excellence in all you do? Remember, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Low standards don't operate in a vacuum, they're pervasive. If you've got a low standards in one arena of life, they're lurking in other areas too.

I love what Tony Robbins says about standards. Just raise em. Just raise your standards. You can do it anytime you want. Most of us don't raise our standards until we encounter so much pain that we're forced to reconsider our approach. You don't have to be forced into raising your standards because of pain. You can choose to raise your standards in any area where you'd like to be more, do more, have more.

Persistence overrides ineptitude and it overrides slipperiness too.

Hold a high standard for yourself and for what you'll allow in your world. Then be persistent with yourself in holding to the new higher standard, while being confident that you and everyone around you will benefit from higher living.

Be blessed,
Valerie Love

7 Unmistakable Characteristics of Intuition

2008-07-24T13:04:00.007-04:00

Today I received an e-mail from someone who had read my book, enjoyed it and had a question I hear often. My book is about how to listen to the still small voice within and presents true stories of what happens when we do, and when we don't.

Here's the question (paraphrased): how do I know when it's my intuition sending me a message and not some other random voice in my head? Very good question, considering the sheer volume of inner voices that can be speaking at any given time.

After considering the question and how best to answer it, I came up with this list based upon how I've worked with my intuition over the years. (Do the same thing here that you do at the buffet, take what you like and leave the rest.)

7 Unmistakable Characteristics of Intuition

1. Less is More. Intuition is brief. No long explanations are involved. Intuition doesn't usually present methodologies and full strategies in one instance. Though it's true that a whole picture can unfold over time from your intuition, one tiny bit of information can be more powerful and profound than a mountain of data. Intuition tends to work on the less-is-more principle. For instance, you might be getting dressed in the morning and receive the message, "don't wear those shoes." You wear them anyway and later on, the heel breaks.

You didn't receive a full explanation of why the shoes weren't a good choice, yet paying attention to that tiny bit of information would have been wise.

2. Fast. Intuition is swift and can be fleeting, like a wink. It arrives quickly, seemingly out of nowhere. Practicing the art of staying fully present in each moment sharpens the ability to decipher intuition's quick messages. The intuitive hit can come so quickly that if we're not paying attention, we could miss it. The idea of "get your keys" can come and go so quickly that we barely notice it. Later, when the keys are locked in the car, the thought we had earlier comes back. Something told me to get my keys!

3. Accurate and trustworthy. Intuition is always accurate. Never has it failed me when I followed it. I read in a magazine article lately that Oprah credits much of her success to following her gut. She has great instincts, and she's great at following them, even when they don't seem to make sense. The same is true of Donald Trump. He states that if a deal doesn't feel right, he doesn't do it, no matter how good the numbers look on paper.

When an uneasy feeling arises about a new person, there's a reason. Heed it. You don't need to know why you're having the feeling. Trust its accuracy and act accordingly. You'll find out more later, if necessary.

4. Accompanied by a bodily sensation. I get a tingly feeling with some intuitive hits. The palms may tingle, or perhaps there's a tingle in the head or up the spine. Pay close attention to what information is suddenly coming to you while you simultaneously pay attention to the feeling in the body that accompanies it.

5. The information provided is not derived from the 5 senses. Knowing something without knowing how we know is one way intuition shows its independence from the 5 senses. Intuitive information doesn't originate with the 5 senses, which is why intuition has been called the 6th sense. For example, did the shoes look like the heel would break? Could you feel the problem with your hands? Probably not if you decided to put them on. Yet, on some level, you knew not to wear the shoes.

Does the person you're just meeting look like an ax murderer? Maybe not. He or she may look and sound like a well groomed, well put together kind of person, yet there's something there, just beneath the surface. I can't put my finger on it, but something's just not right. That knowing is intuitive information arising spontaneously from within, independent of the 5 senses, and sometimes contrary to them. It's what gets us into trouble when we choose a partner that looks, feels, smells and sounds good, even though the inner knowing is saying STAY AWAY!

6. Memorable. After the fact, we remember the guidance received on a particular issue (usually when we're experiencing the negative results of not listening to the guidance). Whether we follow it or not, we remember the guidance, which gives us the opportunity to pay closer attention the next time and practice getting better at heeding the intuitive voice.

7. Becomes more influential with a relationship. When you begin to commune with the inner you that's wise and knowing, you build a relationship, a friendship that can guide you through anything. It becomes a sure beacon. The relationship with your intuition is nurtured just as any other relationship is: through connection (which can be done in meditative states) communing, trust, and paying close attention to what you receive so as to implement it for the highest good. It's like having a wise friend who always knows and who's job is to tip you off to anything that might go awry--before it happens, support you in making every decision, give you guidance in every life arena, inspire you with ideas to live your destiny, and so much more, all executed in a personalized manner and in a voice you can understand, your own.

Bonus: Here's an eighth one...

8. Beneficent. There is only good and all good associated with both receiving intuitive guidance and heeding the voice of intuition, for you and everyone else involved. The information is always pertinent, beneficial and protective when heeded.

Today, listen to your intuition, no matter how far-fetched or contrary to the 5 senses the information seems. It will pay off handsomely, I promise.

Blessings,
Valerie Love

Quote for the day from James Allen

2008-07-24T12:33:00.004-04:00

Today's quote is on self-control:

"...a man is great in knowledge, great in himself,
and great in his influence on the world,
in the measure that he is great in self-control."

Source: The Wisdom of James Allen edited by Andy Zubko; Publisher: Laurel Creek Press. The Wisdom of James Allen : Including As a Man Thinketh, The Path to Prosperity, The Mastery of Destiny, The Way of Peace, and Entering the Kingdom (Radiant Life)

This is one of my favorite books by one of my favorite writers. James Allen is the author of As A Man Thinketh. (This book contains 5 of Allen's works in one handy and fairly small sized volume.)

As we master ourselves, we master our world.

Blessings,
Valerie Love

Pick one and do something!

2008-07-23T21:03:00.006-04:00

Right now, there are several opportunities before me that I can take advantage of. I could do this, or that, or that. Then again, I could do that...

The problem with this predicament is that I'm a Libra and don't make decisions quickly or easily. Even choosing one pair of shoes over the other takes more mental effort than I'd like to admit. Making a decision, especially when I have lots of options, can be a drawn out affair.

Hence the title of this post: Pick one and do something!

Analysis to paralysis is quite real. I've seen it in the mirror and I've spotted it in clients, this never ending urge to look at more facts, create one more spreadsheet, go to one mnore class before taking action.

Underneath the urge is one thing: fear of moving forward, either because we think we'll fail and don't want to look dumb, or because we fear we'll succeed and won't be able to handle it--after all, a new success would land us in unknown territory. So we quietly slip into easy mode, not so much because we choose it, more because we've fallen into default and haven't taken conscious, determined and focused action toward anything else. The result: we wind up staying with what we know, no matter how unproductive, unsuccessful or dysfunctional.

Today, the focus is on moving forward. No more spreadsheets. No more classes. No more analysis to paralysis. Today is a day of forwarding action.

There's a funny thing about taking forwarding action, you only know for sure whether it's right for you or not by doing it. No amount of spreadsheet planning can tell you what the real life experience will be. The best plans don't give you the real world knowledge that's gained by doing something and learning from it.

Ready, fire, aim.

Planning is a good thing, but, like any other good thing, too much of it becomes problematic. We've got to know when to fire. Then, we step back momentarily to examine the results, making adjustments as needed. We get ready, and fire again. In this process we are moved closer and closer to our aims.

My message to myself today is: Pick one and do something! I could sit and analyze my current opportunities till the cows come home. In the meantime, I would have missed valuable learning experiences and the growth that comes with them. In that case, no one benefits.

On the other hand, I pick one and do something by taking forwarding action on the opportunity that appears best (while remembering that what looks best today can look worst after I've pulled the trigger, and I'm okay with that too--I still learn and grow).

Nothing happens until we do something. When we do something, we can have monumental influence, even change the world. We have the power within us to shape global destiny by our individual choices. The choice to move forward has far reaching implications. None of us is in this thing alone. When you and I decide to do something, especially when that something is purposeful, loving, compassionate and kind, the entire web of life is influenced for the better.

Pick one and do something can be liberating, providing freedom from being stuck between possibilities, which, in turn, allows us to forge ahead courageously.

Feel free to use this strategy, feel free to Pick one and do something!

To your forward movement,
Valerie Love

My Head is Spinning

2008-07-22T18:24:00.004-04:00

My head is spinning. And it's because of my obsessive nature. When I decide I want to get something done, it's got to be done yesterday, in its entirety, regardless of the enormity of the project.

This little proclivity of mine has been hanging around for years. I become fixated on a project and forget to surface to eat, sleep or take care of the little necessities of life. I become so excited and wrapped up in what I'm doing that I can't pry myself away--which can be a good thing when I'm working on a project which is truly being driven by my passions.

On the other hand, it can be unnecessarily taxing on myself and the people who love me.

My latest thing is blogging. My love and passion for the written word makes the thought of writing an online journal so fascinating and seductive that I can barely stay away from the computer. I don't watch much TV or engage in other time wasting activities, so I tell myself it's okay to spend hours at a time on the computer. I think I'm hooked. If someone turned off my internet connection right now I'd been spitting mad. We might even fight.

I know I can become obsessive about things, especially when starting new projects. I have the much-talked-about Type A kind of personality. When I've completed the project, it's off the next big thing. I look around to see what else there is to conquer. What other project can I dive into and get lost in? When I'm between projects, a weird variety of boredom sets in, though I'd never classify myself as bored. Maybe restless. Itchy. My creative--and jumpy--mind has a voracious appetite.

Anyway, I know this much about myself: I can get carried away.

And I know this much about human nature: our obsessive tendencies can gain a stronghold when we're not watchful.

Hence, I'm sharing here with you the three principles I'll be working with as I engage in my new obsession: blogging.

Balance

Going overboard with a project is sometimes merited, but most times isn't balanced. Balance reminds us to keep the scales somewhat even, to traverse the middle way, to take care of self as we take care of externals. Balance reminds us to stop and smell the roses, even in the middle of a marathon. When faced with a large project, the balanced approach is to determine how many hours are required to complete the project in excellence, then divide that block of time into bite-sized units which are easily doable. In my case, in order to meet my initial blog objectives, I've committed to 15 hours per week for now.

Flexibility

Trees that aren't able to bend in the storm break. The same is true of human beings. After having determined how much time and energy a project will require, flexibility is needed just in case things don't go as planned. I'm learning to be flexible with everything; my plans, my kids, my husband, living my purpose, and especially with myself. Being flexible means knowing how to stay on purpose and focused on what's important and desired while simultaneously being able to readjust based on what works and what doesn't.

Order

This is a big one for me. Keeping things in order isn't easy, but it's always worth it. Order speeds progress and increases productivity while decreasing activity. When things are in order, I do less and accomplish more. Things get out of order when I get carried away on a project and don't stop to eat, take care of groceries or tidy up. While I'm caught up in my latest obsession, some things pile up while other things fall out of order. I've lived like that before, and I've learned enough to make a new choice today. I'd rather enjoy the peace of an ordered environment.

Sometimes I think our society puts so much emphasis on doing, achieving, succeeding and advancing that we forget it's okay to not do, not move, not achieve.

It's desirable, each day, to spend a substantial amount of time simply being, without doing.

So while I am happy and grateful that I have the energy, drive and physical fortitude to passionately pursue my dreams, I am likewise happy to stop, rest, and simply 'be'.

Besides, it feels good.

Blessings,
Valerie Love

A Simple Gratitude Practice With the Power to Change Your Life

2008-07-21T12:13:00.010-04:00

Gratitude is powerful. Powerful enough to stir our dreams out of the dormancy of thinking about it and into the reality of full-blown manifestation. How?

Before I tell you about that, let me share with you a slice of life from my past. Years ago, I read a most meaningful book, even life-changing. The title of the book is Simple Abundance (Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy) and it offered this daily practice: sit down at the end of each day and write in a gratitude journal 5 things you're grateful for.

Life Back Then

When I first read it, I judged it as one of those things that seems too simple to have any lasting benefit. (That was before I knew the nature of truth, which is simplicity--beware of people with complicated stories.)

At the time, I was a single mom of two kids, driving a 'car' that was subject to go dead on any given corner. Trying to keep a roof over our heads and groceries in the fridge was a major challenge that oftentimes required courage and ingenuity. Life was hairy. When I look back, I shake my head and shudder.

Anyway, I was desperate for relief, so I tried it (it's amazing what humans will try upon reaching the end of the proverbial rope). At that point, I didn't need proof that a strategy was effective, I was willing to try anything that would edge me a few notches higher on the ladder of better living for me and my kids. The quicker, the better.

Thank God A Solution Comes Along

I found a little black notebook and started writing. The first night it was easy to write 5 things I was grateful for, hey, I had two kids. Only 3 more things to write about. It was a breeze. How is this possibly going to change my life?

The first few days were the same. No difference, no change in my life, nothing. I was looking for results, and quick results at that (never mind that it took years for my life to spiral downward to the point where it was, and it probably wasn't going to turn perfect instantly). This gratitude journal crap is not working!

But I kept at it. Somewhere after about 20 or so days, things started to shift. I became more conscious about what I focused on during the day, keeping an eagle eye for things to be grateful for. Hmmmmmmmmm, maybe there's something to this gratitude journal thing...we'll see...

I kept writing.

Each day, I looked for more and more things to write in my gratitude journal. I became hyper aware; aware of the kind smile on the gentleman's face who held the door for me, aware of my son picking up after himself with no prodding, aware of the perfect timing of the help offered by my office mate.

Each night, more and more poured forth onto the page that I was grateful for. Yeah, my life is changing alright...I'm hooked on gratitude!

That was when I came to realize the power of gratitude and the radical shift in psyche it both creates and requires. A grateful person is focused on good, prosperity, joyful happenings, the good deeds of self and others. I literally became a gratitude junkie, looking for the next experience that would propel me into the higher consciousness of gratitude. I wasn't thinking about bills and problems 24/7 anymore. Without focused attention, they began to shrink. My increased attention on things to be grateful for kept me busy looking for more good. I was beginning to feel really good again, even ecstatic at times.

Then another magical thing happened (yeah, I would call this magical). I discovered that I don't have to look for things to be grateful for. I didn't have to chase experiences. I could simply 'be' grateful. This was yet another rung on the ladder of ascending consciousness. I could still be grateful even if I went nowhere, saw no one, did nothing. Gratefulness isn't something I do, it's who I am.

After that shift, my gratitude became an inner fountain, flowing always and continually, without needing outer experiences to sustain the flow.

I became a grateful person, which is very different from trying to be grateful.

The former is about 'being'. The latter is about doing.

The former is inner focused. The latter is outwardly focused.

Mind you, I had to grow through the process, so I'm grateful for the whole journey. I had to 'do' gratitude before I could learn how to 'be' gratitude. It may not be every person's journey, but it was mine, and I love and accept all of it.

A Charge To You

Try it. Where ever you are on the ladder of ascending consciousness, you can climb higher. Our potential for growth, expansion and transformation is infinite. Try the gratitude journal idea and see what happens. Try it for 40 days. It takes at least 21 daily repeats of a particular action for it to form a new groove in the brain and become habitual (whether we want the new habit or not).

The journal doesn't have to be fancy, any notebook will do. If you don't have a journal or notebook, do the exercise mentally.

Each night, before falling off to sleep (which is one of the most powerfully suggestive times for the subconscious mind) take several minutes to mentally review anything that occurred in your day for which you are grateful. No gesture is too small, no cause too slight. Write down everything you're grateful for. The idea is to record 5 or more things/people/places/events you're deeply grateful for.

It may not sound like a big deal, but I guarantee it will get results.

How does 'being' gratitude relate to manifesting your dreams as I stated in the beginning? Because being grateful gives a T.U.G. (Thank U God) to your dreams, ideals and aspirations (which are in the invisible realm of thought), gently drawing them into the physical realm of manifestation. You can thank your way to the realization of your goals and highest dreams. Give thanks as if you already have them. Rejoice ridiculously. Genuinely appreciate every dream, every idea, every aspiration. As you do, you'll draw into your world all you desire, focus upon and give thanks for.

Try it and let me know what happens...

Gratefully yours,
Valerie Love

It can be both

2008-07-18T15:14:00.006-04:00

I'm reading a book by Rev. Michael Dowd about evolution. It's called Thank God for Evolution.

Years ago, if someone would have told me I'd be reading a book about evolution and enjoying it, I would have laughed right in their face. The whole thought and idea of evolution was completely ridiculous to me, not to mention profane, being a devout Jehovah's Witness.

That was, until I began to change my world view. After departing that religion over 17 years ago, what I've since learned about religion, spirituality and the nature and meaning of life is radically different than what I was taught. Not to say that the people who taught me purposely gave me untruths. That's not it at all. As a matter of fact, they were totally convinced that what they were teaching me was true. And it was. For them.

I, on the other hand, had to discover my own truth. I came to that critical juncture where I chose to stand up and decide for myself what resonates with me and what doesn't, and to live accordingly.

When I started really, really looking at what resonated with me in that religion and what didn't, there was a lot more that didn't than did.

So, as circumstances would have it, I opted out. And I've never looked back. Living sans religion has worked for me. I choose to live a life centered on and built upon spiritual laws and principles, with the goal of loving my brother and sister as myself and developing the Christ consciousness of pure, unadulterated compassion.

What's that got to do with the book on evolution? Well, the author's premise is that God is still creating, even now, through the miracle of evolution. As I read the fascinating discoveries of modern science, and the capabilities we've developed as humans to be able to measure things, like how old this planet is and such, it is nothing short of a miracle. Evolution is a miracle.

Not in the evolutionary way. I mean in a reverent, God loving kind of way, which is the perspective put forth by Rev. Dowd. He talks about the miracle of creation by means of evolution and the Great Story, our unfolding story of where we came from and where we're going.

God is still speaking through all of creation every day and I'm thankful for it. God can be revealed anywhere--in the blade of grass, in the spider's web, in the leaf gently floating earthward, in the brilliant stars which give their light and lives to sustain us.

Wow. I haven't finished the book yet, but what I've read of it, I like. I'm actually experiencing a shift in how I think about the whole evolution and creation thing. It doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be both.

Peaceful journey,
Valerie Love

Forgiveness had almost left the building

2008-07-17T11:23:00.006-04:00

My 18-year-old daughter called me this morning and told me she's definitely going to live with her dad. She had been visiting him for a couple of weeks, and has decided to stay. I'm elated, and a bit concerned. She and her dad have never been able to get along for an extended period of time, it seems when the honeymoon phase wears off, they become like oil and water. She wants to do what she wants to do, and he wants her to do what he wants her to do. You can see how that might get a little sticky.

Spirit always knows what to do for me, and when, so when I read a passage this morning from Gary Renard's Disappearance of the Universe card deck,(The Disappearance of the Universe: Straight Talk About Illusions, Past Lives, Religion, Sex, Politics, and the Miracles of Forgiveness) I knew relationship issues would be surfacing today. The card read:

"Forgiveness and arguing are mutually exclusive,
and forgiveness is always the way."

It turns out I knew this had to be talking about family, after all, they're the group of people I'm most likely to argue with.

I'm thankful I was fore-armed and fore-warned before my daughter called me with news and topics we could most certainly argue over, given our past patterns. God saw to it that I got this message before interacting with someone I love dearly, who also happens to have the uncanny ability to tick me the hell off. (Well, that's what I tell myself. The Higher Me knows no one has the ability to tick me off.)

Forgiveness is in order--it is always the way. Thank you Gary Renard, for the reminder. Thank you God, for the earthly vessel.

This was the perfect reminder to me today that when I am arguing, forgiveness has left the building. In the midst of me vainly trying to get other people to see things my way by forcing the issue and selfishly advancing my position, forgiveness has quietly slipped out the back door.

I cannot argue and forgive at the same time. They are mutually exclusive.

Whew. That's a tall order. (If you knew my family, you'd know what I'm talking about.)

I'm committed to working on it, and that's all I have to do. God's grace does the rest.

Blessings,
Valerie Love

Tithing to wealth

2008-07-16T12:36:00.007-04:00

I've been having a personal issue with tithing. The question that comes to mind most often: how do I tithe when there are other obligations to be met and writing out a big tithe check seems counterintuitive and financially counterproductive?

And the next thought: yes, I'm writing the check, but I don't feel completely and wholeheartedly ready to send this money nor do I feel overjoyed about it. After all, giving is supposed to be a happy habit.

I'm working through this issue, because my pattern has been to tithe when there's plenty of money and to reduce my tithes when there isn't. This seems to make sense to the part of me that doesn't subscribe to timeless spiritual principles.

Except it doesn't make sense, not on the spiritual plane. One of the worst things to do when business income is down is to decrease giving. This I know. Yet, there's still this inner question: do I write this tithe check, or...

So, this morning I prayed and laid it all out to God, (it's not like She doesn't already know). I said that I'd really always like to write tithe checks, every single time, regardless of how large the check is and how much I ponder what else I could do with the money. I want to give, and I want to give big. And I want to be really, really, really happy about my giving every time (not just when I'm rolling in the dough). I want to feel really, really, really happy about my giving when things are not looking as good financially as they were yesterday and I'm wondering when the prosperity will return.

After prayer, I got up, immediately wrote out the check, put it in the envelope and addressed it, sealed it and put a stamp on it (a stamp seems to finalize things for me--now I know the envelope is really going somewhere...without the stamp, it's anybody's guess).

Now this might sound strange, but the moment I wrote that check and put it in the envelope and put a stamp on it, something in me shifted and I felt good, empowered, powerful, generous, happy and on purpose. I felt I was fulfilling my purpose, fulfilling what God put me here to fulfill.

I'm here to give, of myself, my talents & gifts, my energies and my financial resources. And it feels really, really, really good.

I've learned that tithing all the way to wealth is a powerful concept, one which always makes room for immense joy, pleasure and fulfillment.

To your wealth,
Valerie Love

Spiritual Umbilical Cord

2008-07-15T12:51:00.004-04:00

I need guidance. I could do it all on my own, however, I've tried that approach and well, let's just say it wasn't pretty.

I know I need guidance. So I've chosen to remember my spiritual umbilical cord...

An umbilical cord sustains life. I am sustained by the Love of God.

An umbilical cord delivers nutrients. I am fed by the Love of God.

An umbilical cord carries away waste. I am cleansed, cleared and made holy by the Love of God.

An umbilical cord is long and flexible. Any way I turn, and no matter how far I stray, God's guidance is right here, attached to my belly.

The beauty of the spiritual umbilical cord is that it's never severed, nor could it be. Even if we choose not to draw on the life-sustaining, life-nurturing, cleansing Love of God, it is always at our disposal, right here, waiting for us to simply turn in and tap in.

We've never been cut off.

Some of us don't know this, so we're still screaming frantically like a newborn who's just been expelled from its warm, cozy den of several months into a strikingly cold and brightly lit world, mad as hell that things can't still be the way they've been, not realizing that the sudden thrust into a new level of living--and the temporary pain that accompanies the move--is beneficial and the most natural thing in the world.

It's natural to grow, to be sustained in a nurturing environment and then to be uncomfortably pushed by the Universe out of our cozy little dens.

Life pushes onward and upward. The same life that pushed you out of the womb is now pushing you onward and upward. When you are in pain, treat it as birth pangs, which descend upon both the mother and the baby being birthed.

We can have growth and birth without pain, but that's a lesson many of us haven't yet fully mastered.

For now, turn in and tap in to that beautiful spiritual umbilical cord that's still in place, pulsing with life-sustaining Love.

Be very blessed today,
Valerie Love

Peace in Mr. Tire?

2008-07-14T13:03:00.008-04:00

This past Friday, it was my intention to experience and emanate peace, and to infuse peace into everything I did.

Well, when I arrived at Mr. Tire, the peaceful notion I had just had a few minutes earlier was already being challenged. I sat in the customer seating area waiting for my tire to be either replaced or repaired. A T.V. was on. The show that was playing at the time was a caught-on-tape kind of show, where citizens had captured people on video behaving badly.

Great, I thought, this is anything but peaceful.

The first few segments were about police officers who had gone too far by either beating or shooting someone for no good reason.

I had my book and I was positioned far enough away from the T.V. that I felt I could ignore the drama.

I opened my book and began reading. My mind had another thought: what's playing on T.V. right now seems a lot more intriguing than the words on this page.

A tiny internal battle ensued because I didn't want to watch cops shooting people or folks behaving badly. I thought about going outside and standing until my car was finished, but it was rather hot and I didn't know how long I'd be there, so I opted to stay in.

It was about then that I remembered my idea and intention to be peaceful. My environment was now mirroring back to me the parts of me that aren't peaceful, the parts of me that want to beat people up, and, if I could get away with it, maybe even shoot somebody here or there (I wouldn't make a habit of it...)

My prayer was indeed answered, God bought to the surface the parts of me that were in direct opposition to my intention to be peaceful.

When I pray for peace, it doesn't just drop down out of the heavens. When I pray for peace, I am presented with situations, scenarios and people who will give me the opportunity to develop peace--and they will almost always present themselves in an environment that is entirely void of peace. That's my opportunity to pray, call up the peace of God within me that excels all understanding, and, in the process, develop a deeper level of peace than I've ever realized before, simply because of my deepened desire and focused intention coupled with a golden opportunity. My inner peace is thus expanded in that instant; I grow into being a more peaceful person than I've ever been.

It's easy to be peaceful when taking a stroll on a perfect day through a beautiful garden.

Maintaining inner peace when confronted with folks who are shooting each other is a whole other story.

Which is the path of the master? To me, the path of mastery is paved with opportunities to invoke greater peace, joy and love in the environments where they are not evident.

I got to practice staying centered in my peaceful core while sitting in Mr. Tire. I got to sit, calm myself, go within, quiet my being, pray, focus on my book and tune out the noise of the world as I stayed centered in that place within me where the peace of God resides always.

Was I perfect at it? No. Good thing I'm not going for perfection. I'm going for mastery through conscious living and doing it in excellence, which I was able to demonstrate to myself, in that instance, could be done.

Peaceful journey,
Valerie Love

Dasher, Prancer & Vixen vs. Rudolph

2008-07-11T14:48:00.007-04:00

Here it is, the middle of July, and Dasher, Prancer and Vixen come to mind. It's hot outside, and inside (due to my disbelief in artificial air conditioning--I only use it when it gets very uncomfortable) and my mind is on the fleet that tugs Santa and his toys across the Christmas sky.

Then the thought occurred to me: who am I most like, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen or Rudolph?

I've been Dasher--running wildly this way and that, making more fuss and commotion than headway and getting people around me worked up in the process. 'I'm from New York' used to be my excuse for being totally type A. Everything had to be finished yesterday. Taking that path caused stress, depression, strained relationships and emotional turmoil. No thank you.

I've been Prancer--prancing this way and that, more concerned with being cute and making an impression than with substance and depth. Authenticity is the bane of superficiality's existence. Even so, I've been unabashedly surface and shallow, in most instances it involved someone of the opposite sex. Trying to make an impression doesn't work, this I've learned the hard way, which is why, I suppose, old people just don't give a darn--they're not out to impress anyone over anything.

Gotta love that.

I've been Vixen too, lots of times (okay, you got me, more times than I care to confess here). This aspect of my personality seems to also arise in situations involving the opposite sex. A Vixen is wonderfully dangerous, which I love being at times. Yet, I can't hang out too long in that energy either, it's unpredictable, and, well, people like to have some kind of idea of what to expect.

While Dasher, Prancer and Vixen were stylish, fancy and very good at what they did, I think I'd rather be like Rudolph. Though he's somewhat dysfunctional (who isn't?) and has got major self-esteem and abandonment issues, I like the guy. I can relate to the whole glowing nose and getting teased thing, it happened to me as I was growing up, before the rest of my face caught up with the substantiality of my nose.

Anyway, Rudolph provides a perfect spiritual analogy. One snowy night, Santa makes it a point to call on Rudolph to serve in a capacity that would require him to use the very thing he had been so relentlessly teased about. 'I need your bright, shining nose, Rudolph, to guide my sleigh tonight. Will you do it?'

That's how God calls us:

'My child, I need your weaknesses; the parts about you that you think are most strange, weird, unusual; the parts of you that folks could never get so they called you crazy; the parts of you and your life that you thought were broken, disgusting, ugly, non-functional, should-have-never-happened. Those are the parts I want to use for My glory, My child. Will you do it?'

Your weaknesses, trials, problems, tribulations, issues, burdens and thorns in the flesh are what God is now calling for. It's snowing like crazy, and God wants you to guide a sleigh for Him;

God wants to use your so-called
failings and weaknesses to light the path
for the delivery of His gifts to the world.

How will you answer?

Here's a hint, Rudolph said yes and was vindicated and victorious in the process of fulfilling his unique and important role. No one else could have done what Rudolph did that dark and snowy night. No one else can do what you can do in shining your unique and important light on the world's darkness.

Will you say yes?

Let your light shine,
Valerie Love

God is the Lens with which I see

2008-07-10T12:26:00.004-04:00

My affirmation today is:

God is the Lens with which I see.

This came to me the other day as I was ruminating on the concept of seeing God in everything. I don't remember the particular trigger that got me thinking along these lines, but I know what it was akin to.

I keep hearing the exhortation to see God in everything. See God in everyone. It's a very nice theoretical position, yet it's a little too lofty for my lower mind, which promptly retorts with:

How can I see God in the war in Iraq where senseless killings take place in the name of freedom and democracy and in the interests of lining pockets at the expense of the American and Iraqi people? How can I see God in that?

How can I see God in the homeless man on the street, knowing that the numbers of homeless, even working homeless, may continue to rise in light of the current real estate/mortgage crises? How can I see God in that?

How can I see God in the Congo and other parts of Africa where war, pillaging, rape and chaos are the order of the day by virtue of how long they've continued unabated? How can I see God in these women's eyes?

I could go on. I suspect by now you understand the position of my lower mind. It doesn't see God in anything, and doesn't want to.

Thank God humans are blessed with a higher mind, a higher nature, that perceives truth. It was this Higher Nature/Higher Self who offered me the above affirmation when I considered that I really can't and don't see God in much of what happens in parts of the world today.

The affirmation lighted on me like a feather, gently dropped into my spirit. The idea, said my Higher Self, is not to see God in all those instances where you will surely have a fight with your lower human nature.

The idea is to experience God as the Inner Lens with which you see, Valerie.

I gotta hand it to my Higher Self, she's got it going on, always knows what to say, and when to say it.

When I heard this jewel of wisdom--not to try to put God in all the dysfunction I see, but to know and experience God as the Lens through which I view everything in the world--something in my psyche shifted, and I've looked about differently.

Now I know that God's wisdom, grace and perfect will are at work everywhere, because God is the Lens with which I see.

Now I perceive Love in the unlovable, because God is the Lens with which I see.

Now I behold peace in unstable places because God is the Lens with which I see.

I've been playing with the idea since the moment it was dropped into my spirit. An epiphany has the power to change everything. This one surely did.

So, I'm sharing with you my affirmation for today (and always for that matter):

God is the Lens with which I see.

Be very blessed,
Valerie Love

More on habits

2008-07-09T14:38:00.008-04:00

Clarity is a good thing. I figured out something this morning. I can be a little slow in getting my lessons, and this is no exception. I've been reading it in success books for years, yet I just got the concept on a whole new level this morning:

My every day habits create my character.
My character creates my life.

Yeah, I know this is elementary, but that's what gets us. We don't get stumped on the biggies--we usually know what to do when something big is at stake.

It's the every day stuff, the minutia of life, that gets us.

Life, to me, is about mastery. Especially challenging are every day habits--what we get up and do each morning, how we conduct affairs throughout the day, and how we consistently conduct ourselves--this is the stuff of which masters are made.

Every day habits build character. Either we're employing high quality, premium habits and creating superb character or we're not intentionally focused on employing good habits and we wind up getting whatever comes our way.

Notice that an intentional choice is required. No choice means you're in default mode, where anything could happen.

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather choose what will happen in my life. After all, it is my life. And if I get to choose how to design it, from top to bottom, from stem to stern, why not go for it and create what I really love?

Hence why conscious choice is required to build character, which is probably the same reason so few do. Most folks drift along, without any focused plan for employing superb daily habits or enjoying the results of the positive character building they support.

What's your choice? What habits are you employing today? Here are a few of mine:

Daily spiritual practice--which includes meditation, prayer, thanksgiving, affirmations, intention-setting, prosperity treatment, journaling and reading sacred texts.
Exercise--my wondrous and awesome temple thrives on movement.
Blog--Monday through Friday, I commit to blogging.
D.P.H.--I just picked up this habit a few days ago, it's my Daily Promotion Habit, and it's already going well.

Do I always feel like completing my habits every day? No.

Do I beat myself up when I don't? Not always.

Do I realize the importance and enormity of my life's choices, with regard to myself and everyone and everything, thus making me more prone to exercise daily habits which build an outstanding character? Yes.

Do I sometimes fall down? Yes.

Do I get back up? Always.

Let this be encouragement and inspiration to you to build positively efficacious daily habits that become non-negotiable. Maybe you won't get to walk the dog, or sweep the floor, or get that task on your desk completed, but if you've done the daily habits that are most important to you, you'll still have a sense of fulfillment when you lie in bed at night and consider how you spent your day; a day you'll never get back.

One more thing, you've got to practice the habit at least 21 times for it to lock in. Some say 30 times and some say 40. Either way, commit and re-commit when your first commitment wears off.

Blessings for your many happy habits,
Valerie Love

The amazing power of intention

2008-07-08T11:34:00.013-04:00

Breakthrough is what happens when you've been working on an idea for a long time, seemingly getting nowhere, or moving at a snail's pace, when all of a sudden, something happens that causes everything to come together in an instant.

It happened to me yesterday. For a long time, I've been holding the vision of marketing my book far and wide, particularly on radio and television. I wrote an intention about it at the end of last year, and began making strides toward its accomplishment.

For months, nothing happened.

Allow me to clarify that statement--nothing happened on the physical plane. Much was happening behind the scenes, in the invisible realm of thought, emotion and spiritual energy. I wasn't sure of all that was going on, but the energy was building, this I knew.

Not long ago, I received an e-mail detailing information about a service for publicity which was designed especially for authors. I immediately followed my intuition and looked at the company website. As soon as I landed at the website, I knew it was for me. I could feel it. After looking around, I signed up for a risk-free 60 day trial of the publicity plan for authors: The Million Dollar Author Club.

Whether being in the club will help me to be a million dollar author or not is a moot point. What fascinated me was the blatant answer to my intention statement, which I had written months before. A big part of the publicity plan & The Million Dollar Author Club is getting booked as a guest on radio and television shows. It was as if the folks who created this plan were reading my intention statement and provided everything I'd asked for, and even provided some extra goodies I didn't know to ask for back then.

In case you're wondering, here's my intention statement:

It is my intention to touch hearts, minds and lives
with the truth of our divine identity on a global scale
by using the mediums of television, radio and the internet
so I will more fully express my destiny as a
masterful and powerful teacher of spiritual law and principle.
And so it is!

Let me share with you why I find this whole thing so amazing.

A few days later, as promised, the first two packages arrived in the mail. I ripped the large envelopes open in an anticipatory haste and was delighted at the contents. I've been listening to the CD's and reading the materials ever since. Those first two packages have already exceeded the value I thought I would get out of a whole year of club membership.

What's even better, is that I received several resources and contacts in the media world to talk to, along with targeted information about what they look for in books and the authors who write them. The materials also outlined what guests are best suited for each show, along with detailed contact information for the producers of the shows and how they like to be contacted.

I thought to myself: Someone has gone before me and laid out all the information I need to take critical action. The only thing left was for me to act, which I did. I contacted producers for radio shows yesterday and will be contacting more today. I've been on the radio several times, and television as well, yet it seemed to happen by accident. It's a blessing to now have everything laid out for me, enabling me to implement a marketing plan with no guesswork, no trying out what doesn't work and wasting time, and no asking the right questions of the wrong people.

I save valuable time for myself and all parties involved when I go directly to those who want to book me as a guest. Besides that, I now know how to approach them to get optimal results.

How awesome is that?

I already smell the sweet success, with ease, efficiency and effectiveness. I'm celebrating because:

I now have the fulfillment of my stated intention in my hot little hands, answering my prayer for an enlarged territory.

God is good. Today, I'm reminded of the amazing power of intention and its ability to focus energies only on what I desire and cut away all else.

God is good. Did I say that already? It's still true.

Loving ya'
Valerie Love

Life is a set of tires

2008-07-07T13:47:00.006-04:00

My back right tire has a slow leak, so I thought it needed repairing. When I got to the tire shop, it turns out I need a new tire, the hole couldn't be plugged.

I think life is like a set of tires.

When there's nothing wrong with the tires on my car, I take them for granted. I don't think about my tires until either a) they need rotating or b) there's a leak/flat. Other than that, I don't give much attention to them. They're just there, doing what they do, going round and round. Yet, without 4 sound rubber wheels on my vehicle, I'm not going anywhere. I have a nice, mechanically sound car. Yet, a tire issue can stop me in my tracks. How many aspects of life do we take for granted? Good health, family, friends, partners--these are all aspects of life that are easy to take for granted when we're rolling along and life is peachy. However, if any one of these is troubled, such as a cancer diagnosis for a mate or the surfacing of a health issue, we realize how easy it is to be stopped in our tracks.

Tires need to be inflated and kept that way. When tires deflate, they are useless. We need to be lifted up by prayer and kept that way. Prayer lifts us, keeps us rolling along and makes us more useful in the world. When we've been punctured or hurt by the debris on life's road and feel ourselves deflating, prayer is what fills us up again.

Tires need good tread to handle the road. We need God to handle life's road. As I was thinking of my inability to lead my own life, I pondered the question: how do people do this thing called life without God? There's no way I could do it. God is what keeps me on the road of life, sanely moving forward. When there's a sharp turn or a steep slope I must navigate, I know I couldn't do it without God.

There are 4 tires on my vehicle. They must each be balanced and in good working order for the car to move forward easily, as it was intended. The identical principle applies to the 4 aspects of my being, namely, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. When the four are balanced, I glide along almost effortlessly. When one or more are out of balance, unpleasant and undesirable issues arise.

Rotating tires makes them last longer. Rotating yourself makes you last longer too. Rotate from work to play and back again. Rotate from seriousness to playfulness and back. Rotate from loving and being very good to self to taking care of the people around you, and be sure to rotate back again. Healthy rotation keeps us happy and vibrantly alive. We were made for diversity of movement and to fill multiple needs.

Yeah, life is like a set of tires.

To your forward momentum,
Valerie Love

Freedom

2008-07-04T14:19:00.008-04:00

Freedom is a beautiful thing, so much so that humans are willing to fight for it. America fought for and won her independence over 200 years ago. I wonder how many of us recognize our truest and greatest freedom: the freedom to choose.

Freedom is a state of mind. When I think of Victor Frankl and his captivity in a German concentration camp, I'm reminded that one can be shackled and still be free. Though he was captive, he had the wisdom to recognize his innate and inalienable freedom. In his book Man's Search for Meaning he states:

"Everything can be taken from a man but ...
the last of the human freedoms - to choose
one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way."

He held that it didn't matter what happened to him, nor did it so much matter his outward circumstance. What truly mattered at all times was his chosen response to where he found himself and his attitude toward what happened in his life experience. Frankl calls this the last of the human freedoms, to be able to choose one's attitude in ANY given set of circumstances.

A person can put chains on your body, but they could never chain your mind. And as for your spirit, that too could never be chained.

This very outlook quite possibly saved Frankl's life.

Our challenge is to remember our inborn and natural freedom, to know that we are free even when it appears otherwise, and to exercise that greatest of human freedoms: to choose our responses and our attitudes in any given circumstance.

Today, I'm reflecting on certain aspects of my natural freedom--freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom to choose how to live, where and with whom, and financial freedom--and offering thanks for it.

Freedom is each person's natural state and could never be taken away. To know this is bliss.

As America celebrates her freedom today, reflect on your personal freedom to choose how you will respond to the vagaries, ups and downs, twists and turns of this thing we call life, and your freedom to pick your attitude, in any and every circumstance. You are free, as Victor Frankl states, to 'choose your own way.'

As we've already seen, no circumstance has the power to bind us (not even prison or a concentration camp). It's our response to--and our attitude toward--the circumstance that is the only factor that could bind us.

You are already free. You didn't need a Bill of Rights or an Independence day or a Constitution to do that for you. God made you free, and called it very good.

Celebrating our inborn and inalienable freedom,
Valerie Love

Relationships are for learning, growing & being a better you

2008-07-03T11:35:00.008-04:00

Today is my 4th wedding anniversary, and it is an especially important milestone for us. Our marital journey has not been without its ups and downs, most notably our separation a year ago. We have since chosen to reconcile, and have been going to counseling for several months with that end in mind. This anniversary marks a very special occasion, the occasion of us reuniting.

Or perhaps we were never apart. It's become clear we have a connection that runs deep, which was evident to us both the first night we met in July 1996. I walked into Silver Shadows nightclub in Columbia Maryland with my good friends Lisa, Cynthia and Jamella, and my husband claims that the music stopped when we walked in, Destiny's Child style, taking no prisoners. I had on a black miniskirt outfit with boots. His head immediately whipped around to take in the sight. His recollection is that I was at the front of the pack as we entered the club in triangular formation.

I don't know about all the elements of his version of the story, although I do remember the miniskirt and boots.

At any rate, he and I have been on this walk for over a dozen years now, and can't let go of each other. Which is a good thing, because there's still much for me to learn in this relationship. For instance, I am learning to:

Be authentically myself while in relationship with another. This is a balancing act on any day.

Strike the beautiful balance between being self-full without being selfish.

Remember that my mate is my mirror and when I'm looking at him, I'm simply looking at another version of myself. For me to believe anything else at this point is delusional.

Remember that Love can smooth over any difference, including differences in opinion about child-rearing, religious and spiritual differences, family of origin differences, differences in approach to money and wealth, and any other difference a couple can get caught up in. Love doesn't know differences, it only and always seeks commonality and mutuality. Love always remembers our one-ness of spirit, even when we forget.

Boldly and calmly speak my truth without heat, anger, confrontation, nagging, belligerence, intolerance or insinuation that he's dumb if he doesn't agree with me.

Give up having to be right, needing to be in control, having to know what's going to happen next, and trying to get him to change into a version of himself that I think would be more pleasing to me, no matter how artificial.

Forgive everything--including every hurt and all the old stuff--and develop a severe case of divine amnesia about it all. A good brainwashing by the Holy Spirit is in order for this to work smoothly.

Release getting my feelings hurt when, instead, I could be remembering that nothing anyone says or does has anything to do with me unless I make it about me.

Be okay with me and be able to laugh with myself often.

Enthusiastically go for my dreams while simultaneously championing his.

Let go and let God.

Now if I could just remember to be and do all these, all the time, life would be peachy.

Since I don't yet, I've still got work to do. We often think that when a relationship is not going well, we can end it and move on to someone else.

The problem is, the problem is you.

What benefit is there in moving on to someone else when the same problems will only arise again after the newness and excitement of the next relationship has worn off?

I figure it's better to stay where I am, with a man I love and adore, and work through the issues that would only follow me anyway.

So, happy anniversary to me and my sweetie, for another year of doing the loving work of learning, growing and being the best we can be.

Praying for happy harmony in all your relationships,
Valerie Love

My prayer for today--you can borrow it if you like

2008-07-02T07:15:00.006-04:00

Today is a day for release. Here's what I am now choosing to release:

I choose to release being small. I vow to stop hiding, playing small and playing not to win.

I choose to release acting dumb. No more pretending I don't know when I do.

I choose to release self-sabotage. I vow to allow myself to be successful beyond any dream.

I choose to release acting like a martyr and/or a victim. I vow to be just as powerful as God created me to be.

I choose to release worry, doubt, fear, resistance and any other negating influence. This morning I read Matthew 11:6, where Jesus says: "Happy are those who have no doubts about me!" I needed that word this morning. I vow to relinquish all doubt, living a life of faithfulness, trust, confidence and full knowledge of God's all-providing presence in my life at all times, even when it looks like God is nowhere around.

I choose to release lack, limitation, not enough, not worthy and any other limiting influence. I vow to remember and to live in the fullest expression of God's abundance, prosperity, bounty and good, knowing that God is all there is and all I'll ever need.

I choose to release anger, frustration, irritation, aggravation and any and all negative influences. I vow to live in the presence of Love, Life, Joy, Happiness and Satisfaction to the end of my earthly days. While I'm here, I'm feeling good--that's my choice.

I choose to release hurt, pain, old wounds, bitterness, grudges, misunderstandings and anything else I hold against myself and my brother or sister. I vow to live in the fullness of God's healing grace and complete forgiveness. Grace is mine now. Healing is mine now. Forgiveness is easy for me. God's Holy Spirit leads me to a new awareness of myself as healed and whole.

In the times I feel something come up which causes me to be tempted to forget these vows to myself, I pray for a gentle reminder, an angel tap on the shoulder, so that I will remember how to live a good life and so that I'll have the courage to actually do it.

In the times when someone does or says something that is an invitation for me to think, feel, speak or act in ways that do not honor God or myself, I pray for a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit to stay on track.

I will close my eyes, breathe and bring myself back to center, where in a holy instant I will remember that there is only good and only God.

Amen.

Valerie Love

Where are you on the learning continuum?

2008-07-01T11:13:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was my oldest daughter's birthday, she turned that ubiquitous age of 18--she's just grown enough to sign papers, yet still not grown enough to handle alcohol or living on her own.

What's the barometer to gauge whether a youth is truly ready to handle the world at large? Just because the age requirement has been met to be able to legally sign documents to get an apartment, doesn't mean that the individual can handle living independently in that apartment. And for those of you whose parents have trust funds, just because the law says you're old enough to legally take over the responsibility of handling your own money, doesn't mean you actually can or will. Just because you're old enough to walk into a bar and legally order a drink doesn't mean you'll drink responsibly.

We have these arbitrary ages where certain grants, rights and privileges are automatically bestowed unilaterally for every person reaching that age, whether or not the individual can actually handle the responsibilities that attend those grants, rights and privileges.

I wonder about that. I wonder how we could come up with a way of determining that, for instance, a certain 17 year old is independent enough to handle living on their own in an apartment, (even though she/he can't legally sign the documents) whereas a certain 19 year old may not be. I don't how we would go about determining individual readiness for the world--however helpful that would be to youths, parents and society in general--without getting ourselves into a heap of discriminatory practices.

What I do know is that across the board systems don't work. Every 18 year old is not identical, nor is every 21 year old. The law could have granted me the privilege of legally drinking at age 18, it wouldn't have made a hill-of-beans difference to me because I had already sworn off drinking after my horrific bout of drunkenness one night when I was 17 (waking up the next day with different clothes on and not knowing how it happened was more than I could mentally and emotionally handle). I vowed to never do it again. So my 21st birthday came and went with no more celebration than had it been my 18th. I wasn't going near a drink anyway.

The point here is to celebrate the individual and to honor what makes us divinely unique. We each have our own learning curve, and we each have our own time line to learn what we're here to learn. I learned a valuable lesson at 17 that some people don't get until much later. Conversely, I still haven't grasped some lessons that others may have gotten at 17. It doesn't matter where we each fall in the continuum of learning. We simply remember that we are divinely unique and there is a path that has been paved especially for each of us.

It doesn't matter what age we are anyway, the learning never ends.

So I celebrate my daughter's unique place in the continuum of learning. She is now officially 18. Yet, just like me, she is 12 in some respects, 3 in others and probably 50 in others. Spiritual, mental and emotional growth are not strictly time and age driven, which gives us permission to be anywhere on the continuum of learning, without thoughts of I-should-know-better-than-this or I-thought-I-was-past-this. It works best when we lovingly leave self-flagellation out of the developmental process.

Celebrate yourself today and celebrate where ever you are on your unique path. Rest assured that where you find yourself on the learning continuum is exactly where you need to be. It's all perfect and divine.

Love,
Valerie Love

Patience

2008-06-30T11:46:00.003-04:00

I was strolling through Bowie Town Center yesterday afternoon and wandered into the Hallmark store. There, on one of the shelves locked away in a glass cabinet was a beautiful angel, with the word PATIENCE written in beautiful lettering across her purple robe. I fell in love, partly because I collect angels, but also because that particular angel, in that particular moment, was singing my song. PATIENCE.

I can be as impatient as they come. I am one of those type A personalities, who thinks that everything can be done, that it can all be done quickly and efficiently and that I must be a failure if I don't get it all done in one day. (Don't mind me while I share with you some of my neuroses.)

Over and over again, I've gotten the message to BE PATIENT. My reply: "I don't have time to be patient! This has got to be done, and it's got to be done NOW!"

This stance is tricky enough when it's just me. Imagine what happens when I try to engage other people in my it-has-to-be-done-now-or-else approach. No where else is it more evident than in my marriage. To ensure that I get the lesson about patience, I met and married what I believe must be the world's slowest man.

I love him, deeply. I treasure him for the rock that he is. However, he doesn't move fast for anybody, not for me, not for the kids, not even for his mama (which seems to be just fine by her, she moves slow too--and gets quite a bit accomplished).

So this angel, with her wonderful PATIENCE message was just what I needed, considering I had just rung my husband's cell phone, for the second time, looking for him and wondering why he hadn't called me back yet. When he called back, he said "I was taking a nap." Oh.

Funny how things I thought were so urgent wind up not being urgent at all when put into perspective. And everything worthwhile in life is worth the time and effort to cultivate. When I look at the accomplishments I'm really proud of--my agreement with myself to love, appreciate, honor, trust and respect me, my kids' graduations, my completion of three manuscripts, my 12 year relationship with my sweetie, my successful coaching practice, my recent graduation--all of them required time, effort, perseverance and PATIENCE to cultivate, develop and finally enjoy. Many of them continue to be a daily work in progress. Most of all, my daily spiritual walk is the most treasured, and by no means does spiritual growth come without patience.

Today, when or if you feel rushed, remember the message from my angel: PATIENCE. Stop, breathe and slow down.

Trust me, I'm slowing down--patience informs me that there's always a beautiful treasure on the other side of my steady, sometimes slow, attention and focused progress toward what really matters.

Be patient and prosper,
Valerie Love

Help me out where I need more faith

2008-06-27T11:45:00.008-04:00

Today's challenge is cultivating deeper faith.

Several of my life coaching clients have been working with this challenge lately. Since my world is a mirror of my consciousness, there are aspects of me which would benefit from stronger faith muscles. This I know.

So, I'm offering here two tools I'm using now for myself with regard to building a strong, abiding, deep, I-don't-care-what-happens-God's-got-my-back kind of faith.

Tool #1: I'm reading the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John again. Yes, again. For the 1,000th time. It doesn't matter how many times I read them, the gems change each time, served up by the Holy Spirit based upon what I need in the moment. This time the gem came from Matthew 9:22 where Jesus says (Good News Bible) "Courage, my daughter! Your faith has made you well."

Which means we can receive all the healing grace of God, and still not be well. If no faith is present, healing can be blocked or delayed.

My faith can make me well. This is a powerful concept. Reflect on it deeply and often.

Tool #2: I'm reading The Wisdom of James Allen, which is a collection of 5 works, one of which is The Path to Prosperity. Here's a quote which has fed my soul:

"By the power of faith every enduring work is accomplished. Faith in the Supreme; faith in the overruling Law; faith in your work, and in your power to accomplish that work--here is the rock upon which you must build if you would achieve, if you would stand and not fall."

And here's another, for good measure:

"To follow, under all circumstances, the highest promptings within you; to be always true to the divine self; to rely upon the inward Light, the inward Voice, and to pursue your purpose with a fearless and restful heart, believing that the future will yield unto you the reward of every thought and effort; knowing that the laws of the universe can never fail, and that your own will come back to you with mathematical exactitude, this is faith and the living of faith."

Be faithful and be made well,
Valerie Love

Laugh

2008-06-26T15:07:00.006-04:00

This morning, right in the middle of a prayer, out of nowhere, I started laughing. I got into a funny mood, for no particular reason.

It made me think of the reply my grandmother gave me when I asked her for her secret to living to 95 (and still being in her right mind): "Valerie, you gotta have a good belly laugh every day."

That was Frieda Clark's motto; she never missed an opportunity to be funny. My grandmother was relentless at poking fun at her brother and sister, even well into her 90's (when does sibling rivalry end anyway, at 100?!?!?). Her recommendation to have a good belly laugh every day perfectly fit her flow. I still laugh at some of the things grandma said, and at the fact that old people seem to be able to say anything that comes to them without repercussion. (If for no other reason, it's worth it to stay around long enough to get really old, to finally get the chance to say whatever you feel like to anyone without concern for how it will land on the other person.)

So when I chuckled at myself this morning in the prayer, a steady stream of funny predicaments that I've found myself in began to float through my mind. Some things I laughed at because they were funny. Others I laughed at to guard my sanity. Still others I laughed at to keep from breaking down into a weeping pile on the floor (although I've had my share of those days too).

Then I thought of the embarrassing moments I've had (the ones where I wished a giant bird would swoop in and sweep me away) and I just had to shake my head--still smiling--at all I've come through. I can look back now and laugh, though the situations weren't funny when they were happening.

So today's intention to is to jovially experience several good belly laughs.

I already started with myself, then I moved on to thinking of the hysterical antics and comments my 7-year-old daughter Varonika provides. She took 4 eggs out of the refrigerator the other day and her and the next door neighbor's son got the idea to make a nest--only they used mulch from the front of the house and leaves from the bushes to do it. They put the nest right in the middle of the concrete walkway leading up to the front door of our house. Then they decided to sit and wait for the baby chicks to hatch. Holding her ear close to one of the eggs, she thought she was onto something. She immediately picked up the egg and ran into the house (with the little neighbor boy closely following) yelling "I hear something! There's a baby chick in here trying to get out!" Hmmmmmmmm. I didn't have the heart to tell her or her friend that those eggs are pasteurized and there's no way a baby or anything else was alive in there (at least I hope not).

I had a good chuckle with that one (when they weren't around).

Join me today in having several good belly laughs. Start with yourself and all your mishaps, embarrassing moments and failed attempts at new things; I'm sure there's lots of material from your life that could keep you amused.

Don't take yourself too seriously today. Relax. Smile. Be easy. Have a few good laughs.

Compliments of grandma's sage words, your life deserves joy. Make it overflow.

Jovially yours,
Valerie Love

More on commitment

2008-06-25T10:15:00.006-04:00

After having slept on it last night, upon awaking this morning and while still lying in bed giving thanks, something else came to me about commitment. What happens when we cannot honor our commitments or no longer desire to? What then?

Maybe you had the same question on your mind. Since I like formulas (they make like easier and more predictable) here's a formula for honoring commitments in excellence:

Step 1: Stop making so many commitments. Problems arise when we agree to do things we don't really want to do, which causes difficulty when it's time to keep the commitment. (You know those things you agreed to do because you got caught up in someone else's agenda and then you didn't know how to get yourself out of the mess so you chose to avoid, run, hide, be irresponsible, or whatever particular mode you have for not honoring your commitments--you know yourself. I told you about my brand last night: procrastination.)

**2-part remedy if you're a person who over-commits and then regrets it:

Use the 7 T's: Take the time to think things through. Slow down. Slow the situation down. Put everything in slow motion. When you've agreed to do things you didn't want to do, the conversation was probably moving faster than you could keep up, and before you knew it, you said yes.
Develop a strong no. You get a strong no by having a strong yes. People who have already determined what they stand for, what their purpose is and what their intentions are cannot easily be swayed by other people's endless agendas. Know what you stand for and state it firmly. The stronger your yes, the stronger your no will become.

This step can be used as a tool for making conscious agreements and commitments--ones which are in alignment with your soul's purpose--and to make far fewer commitments, which harnesses focus and places it on honoring fewer commitments in an excellent fashion, which makes for happy and stress-free living.

Step 2: If there's a commitment you've already made that you can't honor (or the commitment no longer aligns with who you are), go to the person/entity you committed to and re-negotiate your commitment to the satisfaction of all parties involved. Communicate clearly and honestly where you are now, versus where you were when you first made the commitment. If you made the commitment based on feeling pressured or obligated, let the person know, lovingly, without blame. Let them know of your intention to re-negotiate the commitment to the satisfaction of all parties involved. You may be surprised at how amenable the other party is to working out a new solution. There are at least 10+ solutions to every situation, so get creative.

Step 3: After you've re-negotiated the commitment to the satisfaction of all parties involved, honor the new commitment with excellence. Better yet, try to honor the commitment ahead of time. This will give you a great feeling of power and trust in yourself which radiates to those around you. You'll know you can be trusted and others will too.

I make far fewer commitments now than before. I take things a little more slowly. Then I clarify what was said before I respond with a fast yes that I'll later regret.

I pray this formula is useful for you in making and honoring commitments which propel you forward and align with your heart's desires.

Be blessed today and every day,
Valerie Love

The value of honoring commitments

2008-06-24T23:04:00.005-04:00

I was sitting comfortably in bed, propped up on pillows, reading Simple Abundance while sipping a warm cup of Celestial Seasoning's sweet coconut thai chai, when I remembered that I hadn't posted to my blog today. Oh forget it, was the first thought that came to mind, I'll do it tomorrow.

There was a time when I would have let myself get away with the worn out I'll do it tomorrow thought. Not today. This Valerie is older and wiser and knows that tomorrow never comes.

Besides, a commitment is a commitment and I'm learning the value of honoring my commitments. I made a commitment to myself to blog each day, Monday through Friday, and to have it completed most days before 12 noon.

Because I've had the tendency to let myself slide with the stuff I promise myself I'll do, I made my commitment public by putting it on the blog. Hmmmm, now if I slide, lots of other people will know about it. For me, it's added reinforcement to stay on track.

I'll do it tomorrow was a famous excuse I used to not honor a commitment today. No more. The buck stops here. I've fallen for that trick of the ego mind one too many times.

So, I got myself out of bed, came downstairs to my office and began to write this post. It's healing, actually, to write about one's own forays into the underworld of low thinking and slippery behavior. When I take an impersonal look at the mis-steps I've allowed myself to fall into--minus self judgment and harsh criticism--I know I am a different person today, the kind of person who would get out of a comfy bed to honor a commitment.

And it's not that I have to coerce myself into doing things that I no longer desire to do, or things that don't serve me or the people around me. Resistance most often arises around the things we love to do (for me, it's writing and blogging is a brilliant way to instantly publish my work--which is like nirvana for a writer), the passions of the heart and soul and the desires that lead us to higher ground.

That's why commitment is key and becomes a vital principle to employ in sustaining a life of fulfillment. Without commitment, there can be no fulfillment.

I am happy with myself today for honoring my commitment to me and to you, dear reader. I'm almost ready to post, and it's 11:27 pm (which means it's not tomorrow yet).

Incomplete commitments sap our life force energy and render us impotent. Besides, have you noticed that your mind has a way of reminding you of the stuff you didn't do (or finish) when there's absolutely nothing you can do about it--like driving down the highway and being hit with the thought that you still didn't organize your office, which you had promised yourself you would do last Tuesday? What in the world can you do about it while driving? Nothing. That's the way your brain works; when there are open commitments that have no plan for resolution, the mind will continue to chew on them and throw them to the foreground of conscious awareness at the most oddly peculiar and inappropriate times.

Most folks have so many open loops (stuff that was committed to but never completed) that they find it nearly impossible to have a clear, steady flow of positive thoughts which are completely void of should-haves, would-haves and could-haves.

All of it can be avoided by honoring commitments and doing what we say we will do, when we say we will do it. As a life coach, if I have an appointment with a client at 11:00 am, I'm dialing the phone at 10:59 am. When the clock strikes 11:00 am, their phone is ringing. I hold a high standard for myself of honoring commitments in excellence, which keeps my past shady behaviors from reappearing.

Honor yourself by honoring your word. Demonstrate love for yourself by going back and cleaning up any incompletions, which clears your energy field and revitalizes you for the work at hand.

Okay, I'm done. My chai is cold, yet my heart is warm. I'm going back to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Good night,
Valerie Love

What happens when things don't go according to plan?

2008-06-23T21:16:00.006-04:00

It's Monday and I'm reflecting on last week's trip to New York in which I left Thursday and returned Friday. I set an intention in advance to experience joy each day I was away.

Little did I know how greatly the intention would serve me.

What happens when things don't go according to carefully laid plans? What happens when things go askew?

It turned out that key elements of my carefully planned trip to New York changed. I don't know why they changed, they just did. I arrived in Chinatown in New York City rather than 34th Street. Instead of walking a few short blocks to 25th Street to my class, I had to walk to the subway station and ride the subway uptown. I had no idea where the nearest subway station was, but being from New York, I reasoned that one had to be close, so I started walking. Fourteen blocks later, I located the subway station. In the 4+ decades I've been alive in this body on this earth, I've never walked 14 blocks in New York looking for a train station.

Happily, I was still joyful. My long walk gave me the exercise I've committed myself to. And I got to breathe in the sights and sounds of Chinatown, which is quite fascinating in itself.

As for the return trip from New York to Washington, DC on Friday, it took us 6 1/2 hours to make a trek which normally takes 4. The bus had malfunctions of some kind, causing the driver to pull over on the side of the road and at rest stops to attend to whatever was going on. I guess buses have issues too, just like people.

The trip to New York didn't go exactly as planned, nor the trip home. What did go according to plan was my intention to experience joy.

Here's the question again: what happens when things don't go as we'd planned? Go with the flow. The intentions you've set can be met in a myriad of ways, so never be attached to how things unfold.

Can I still experience joy while sitting on a bus that's stalled on the side of the highway? Yes.

Can I still experience joy while trekking an unexpected 14 blocks to find the nearest subway station? Yes.

Can I still experience joy when it takes 6 1/2 hours to do what normally takes 4 hours? Yes.

In all of it, my intention to be joyful carried me through a mix of events that could have easily invited me to be anything but joyful.

When things go according to plan, it's easy to stay happy, but what about when things go askew?

If you've set an intention beforehand to be joyful, sit back and relax, knowing that you are the only one who can block the manifestation of your intention; no one else holds that power in your life but you.

If you haven't set an intention, stop immediately (in the midst of the re-directed plan) and state what you intend to experience. You cannot control every aspect of everything you meet with. What you can control is how you'll experience your situation and how you'll manage yourself as you manage what's happening.

I had an absolutely enjoyable trip to New York (regardless of the changes in plans).

I was as joyful as I intended to be.

Lovingly,
Valerie Love

You Are an Extraordinary Reality Creator

2008-06-20T10:18:00.005-04:00

Today's idea: we are each the creators of our reality and the shapers of our individual destiny.

Play a game with me. Call to mind a current snapshot of your life. Call to mind your job (or business or whatever you do for income), your house, your bank accounts and investment accounts, your relationships, your vehicle, your family. Take a moment and glimpse your current reality. All of it.

There is one thing your world always provides: feedback.

The state of your world mirrors back to you the state of your consciousness.

You live in one big, gigantic house of mirrors. Imagine that.

If you're like me, you've probably taken responsibility for creating the aspects of your house-of-mirrors you're happy with. After all, we like to take credit and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done. We revel in the sincere praise from others when it's offered.

For the parts of your house-of-mirrors you don't like (we've all got some), have you taken responsibility for them, or have you tried to shuffle the blame onto someone else?

For instance, if you've heard yourself think or say: "she/he gets on my nerves", "if they would just ________ then I could be/do ____________", "why can't they listen and do as they're told", "ooooooooh he makes me so upset when he ________", "she plucks my last nerve".

You quite possibly have your own variation of the above statements. The exact wording doesn't matter. The point is: we abdicate our power when we think, believe or state that someone else can make us feel upset, angry, pissed, happy, sad, impatient, unloved or any other feeling. No one outside of you has the power to control how you feel.

I love what Steven Covey says about it: humans are responsible, able to choose a response.

You are responsible. When folks do things you don't like (which they will), you have a choice as to how you will respond. You could choose to respond with love or you could choose to respond with fear and anger. You are a free agent, with complete free will to use however you'd like. I'll state this again (for my own sake):

Though you may choose to give it away, no one can take your power from you, nor can they hold power over you unless you allow it.
You are always free to choose your response.
You are a free agent.

Back to reality creation. How are you wielding your immense power? You are an extraordinary reality creator; you've already proven that. You can make stuff appear out of thin air. You use your tools of reality creation with every thought, feeling, statement and action. What you believe comes into existence. You are always shaping reality, molding it to the pattern of your most dominant and recurring thoughts.

The good news is: if you've created situations and conditions you don't like, you always get to choose again. Without judgment, guilt or shame, just choose again. Do it differently next time. Don't wallow in the negative outcomes of yesterday's poor choices. Move on. Create again. Go back into your laboratory of thought, feelings, words and actions and whip up a new and improved creation.

Change your beliefs by replacing the faulty ones with a new thought. A belief is simply a thought which has been held for a long time and has been charged with enough emotion to sufficiently lock itself into the cells of your body. The belief resonates, drawing to it all manner of experiences which resonate similarly. Most of your negative beliefs are held unconsciously, so you would never own up to them under normal circumstances.

However, you can tell what your negative beliefs are by looking at your house-of-mirrors. Here are a few common examples:

Not enough money? There's a belief in scarcity, lack, limitation, greed and/or poverty that's lurking in your consciousness.
Unhappy relationships with high drama (and not the good kind)? You harbor beliefs in your consciousness which are related to conflict, power struggles, dis-harmony, fighting, fear, etc.
Hate your job? There's a belief in hardship that's present in your consciousness, or a belief that you can't get what you want, or that life is a struggle.

None of these beliefs are true and all of them can be changed.

To turn the tide of negative beliefs (and their negative outcomes in daily living) think a new thought and charge it with happy emotion. Charge your new thoughts with gratitude, joy, prosperity and the knowing that everything in the universe supports you in all ways, always.

A tool that will help you to do this is to spend several minutes each day, with your eyes closed, allowing yourself to daydream about what you love. Most kids are happy partly because they daydream. Daydreaming puts you in a space of seeing mentally what you love and calls up a lofty, dreamy feeling. Some people think it's a waste of time to daydream. I don't. I engage in daydreaming every day. I see what I desire to create, then I walk through the daydream having fun, enjoying every aspect of it and soaking it all in. My body's responses even change when I'm in the daydream state. The consistent daydream, merged with happy feelings, converts itself into the belief that I can experience whatever I imagine. Soon after, the emotionally charged mental pictures and scenes begin to take shape in my world.

This is the essence of reality creation.

Go on and try it--you now have permission to daydream.

Changing your beliefs changes your reality. You're making this whole thing up anyway, you might as well make it good.

Many blessings,
Valerie Love
P.S. -- Good news: my day yesterday was as joyful as I had imagined. I traveled to NYC and all proceeded well. Today, I travel back to Maryland, and have set the same intention this morning as I did yesterday: to be infused with the highest level of joy possible. And this is so!

Make it a point to be joyful

2008-06-19T08:51:00.004-04:00

Today, I'm traveling to New York. I'll drive from my home to the metro station, where I'll take a train ride into downtown Washington, DC. Then I'll get on an express bus to New York City. After arriving in my hometown, I'll walk from 34th Street to 25th Street.

I know me. There's potential in this day for me to feel hurried, rushed or slightly frazzled.

Except that I set an intention this morning to be joyful. All day. In all I do and experience. It's all joy. I've already made up my mind that today is all about my joy. I'm smiling as I write this. I've already set the intention and said the prayer this morning. As soon as I did, the joy level increased.

Not only did I set an intention to experience all joy and only joy today, I asked for joy beyond what I've ever experienced. A new, higher level of joy. A joy so full of good feeling that I'd want to experience that every day. I am ready to experience a whole new brand of joy today. I am going into new territory.

What about you? When you have a day ahead of you that's full, or that requires much of you, rather than ruminating on all that holds the potential for upset, take a steadfast stand for unbounded joy. Joy like you've never had before. This is how we know God is at work, when what turns out is better than we could have ever done on our own. God has already stepped in and infused my heart with pure joy. It feels divine.

All you have to do is decide. Decide to be joyous. You have choices. You are a free being. You can choose to be joyful beyond words, or you can choose to let whatever happens happen. I've learned not to leave outcomes to unfold for themselves. The results are rarely pleasant.

Set a firm, heartfelt, resolute intention today to be joyful, or set an intention for whatever you desire to experience today. Set an intention every day. Speak in advance of how your day will unfold. Speak joy over everything you do. As you summon joy with your mind, heart, spirit and word, joy must show up. It is law.

I'm feeling so much joy right now I'm about to jump out of my bathrobe!

I love you.

Joyfully yours,
Valerie Love

Grateful

2008-06-18T10:59:00.004-04:00

I can never be too thankful, so today is a day for giving thanks.

I am thankful that I woke up this morning at 5:00am, went out for my morning walk, came back and did yoga followed by meditation and prayer. I then ate breakfast, read scriptures and reviewed my life plan and goals, all in the quiet solitude that exists when no one else in the house is awake. Yummy.

I am thankful that my desk is piled up with items that must be handled today. Having piles means I have work. Having work means I have income. God is good.

I am thankful for our cat, Smokey Hollywood Ware, who reminds me to take naps. She takes lots of them, without apology.

I am thankful for the basket in my kitchen that holds bottles of Dasani water. I am reminded of my recent trip to Kenya in which I visited one of the largest 'slums' on the continent of Africa. Fresh drinking water at my fingertips is a pleasure I will never again take for granted after my visit to the Motherland.

I am thankful for computers and the internet. At the risk of sounding older than I'd like, I remember when I first went to work in an office. There was an electric typewriter there (heaven forbid making a mistake at the very bottom of a letter that was being typed in triplicate, with carbon paper--and if you don't know what that means, it's okay). I had just graduated from school as a secretary (administrative assistant was unheard of back then) and could take dictation at 120 words per minute in my steno notebook. I could type 90 words per minute. Wow. That seems almost inhuman nowadays. The fastest way we could send a letter, if it was going to someone else in the same city, was to call a messenger service to have a human being carry it to the other person's office. Who knew e-mail would completely revolutionize that process?

I am thankful for my journey of growth and discovery. Life isn't always as peachy as I'd like, but it's always for my good. Everything I've experienced on the journey has made me better. I wouldn't be me if even one iota of it was missing.

I am thankful I got to see the sunrise this morning. It was a splendid spectacle.

Life is good--be thankful.

Amen.
Valerie Love

Meditation

2008-06-17T16:07:00.000-04:00

I've been talking a lot lately about meditation to my coaching clients. It's a recurring theme for good reason: meditation is one of the best ways to begin the day.

Whether you call it meditation, contemplation, reflection or silence, the practice of sitting comfortably in a relaxed position, breathing deeply and quieting the mind produces big benefits, including increased concentration and focus, clarity of mind, inner calm and a host of physical pluses.

If the benefits of meditation are so great, why do so many folks report difficulty with the practice and discipline of training the mind to be still?

Perhaps it has to do with our fast-paced, need-it-yesterday society. In past generations, sitting out on the porch on a starry night gazing up at the night sky (which is a form of meditation) was an activity folks engaged in at least a few times per week. Lying on a picnic blanket with hands folded behind the head and counting the clouds blow by (another form of meditation) was something I remember doing often as a kid. Yesterday was simpler, slower, less complicated.

Modern life moves fast.

All the more reason to settle into a daily practice of reflection. For the sake of mental, emotional and physical health, it's vital to step off the treadmill of endless duties and responsibilities to enjoy a meditative respite. Meditation holds the power to heal the mind and re-order and re-structure the cells of the human body.

Today offers the perfect opportunity to begin a meditative practice. Here are some tips:

Breathe deeply several times before beginning your meditation. With each exhale, release stress.
Close your eyes.
When thoughts arise, don't engage them. Simply allow them to do what they do. I imagine my thoughts as balloons that float away high into the sky until they are out of my awareness. Or I'll image my thoughts as walking down a street and dropping into a hole on the sidewalk. Whatever you do: don't fight your thoughts! Simply release them.
When completely relaxed, bring your focus to your heart. Open yourself to love, joy, peace & prosperity.

Here are helpful meditation don'ts:

Don't try.
Don't force.
Don't work hard.
Don't be impatient.
Don't wonder if you're doing it right.

Meditation is a learned discipline, so be patient with yourself. The care, time and attention you spend on yourself today will pay off big in the long run with increased vitality, focus and spiritual connection. The more you meditate, the greater will be your conscious connection to the divine Source of Life within you and the greater will be the rewards in daily life.

Blissfully yours,
Valerie Love

Savoring Sweet Success

2008-06-16T12:50:00.000-04:00

Today I am feeling happily satisfied with myself for a job well done. For the past two years, I've been a student at Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development. Yesterday, I graduated.

The night before we graduated our class put on a gala, to which we invited friends, family and the public. It was phenomenal. We each showcased our gifts and talents with the uniqueness God had in mind when creating us. The incredible array of gifts from God is stunning.

The entire weekend was the culmination of work we'd been doing for years, not just the past two years, but for all our lives.

After working hard and achieving success, I have a tendency to look for the next big thing I can sink my teeth into. Recently, I completed two manuscripts and I'm already thinking about the next book I'll write. If I'm not careful, I'll run to the next thing without stopping long enough to truly soak in the success, to allow it to lock into the cells of my body and sink all the way to my core.

Not this time. This time, I am basking in the joy of a job well done. I am resting and reflecting in gratitude on all God has done through me and continues to do. Being good to myself by resting after a period of intense activity brings a much needed respite to my mind and body.

Maybe you're like me in not allowing one success to fully settle in before moving to the next greatest thing. Here's something for you to consider: when we reach a new level in positive energy that required great output to achieve, resting locks in the success. When you accomplish something great after having put your heart, soul, time and energy into it, allow yourself to rest. Look around at all you've done. Reflect on the steps you took to achieve succes and give thanks for each one. Smile at yourself. Get acclimated to the new higher elevation. Get used to the new higher level before immediately looking up the mountain to see what's next. There will always be plenty of time to create the next success. For now, revel in the right now moment.

Today, I'm enjoying the blissful feeling that accompanies completing my goals with excellence.

I am savoring sweet success.

Joyfully,
Valerie Love

Breathe

2008-06-13T13:03:00.000-04:00

Today I feel rushed. I don't have to, I've done what I set out to do. Yet, I still feel this need/compulsion to rush. There's a lot going on this weekend for me, including participating in a gala on Saturday night and graduating on Sunday from Inner Visions Institute.

I feel rushed and a tad frazzled.

I almost forgot to post to my blog today. So happy I remembered.

What do I do when I feel rushed?

I breathe. I breathe deeply. With each deep, expansive breath, I take in Life. I fill my lungs with vital life energy, which is promptly distributed, by the wisdom of my body, throughout the entire organism.

So, I am sitting here, writing calmly and breathing.

Part of this frazzled feeling is arising from the events this weekend. This is a full weekend. This I know.

I also know that it can all be easily and calmly handled in a spirit of serene tranquility. The calmer I remain, the calmer my world remains. And I do like a calm world.

Today, if frazzled and rushed moments arise for you, breathe. Breathe deeply and slowly. Breathe like you've never breathed before. Soon, you'll feel the exhilaration of Life, and the inner awareness will arise that all is well.

Let's breathe together and choose to remain tranquil and serene.

Many blessings to you over this calm weekend.

Valerie Love

Trust

2008-06-12T12:38:00.000-04:00

I've been working with trust lately. I've had challenges with it at key life intervals, so I know there's a lesson in it for me.

The issue came up this morning. I placed an order for books for an event this weekend. As an author, I like to always have books on hand. Since I waited until the last minute, I now have to rely on UPS to ship the books overnight to me. I know they'll arrive tomorrow, yet...the tiny thought came up in my mind: what if the books don't get here in time?

Hmmmmmm, there's that trust issue again.

There's no reason for me to think they wouldn't get here on time.

My thought may sound like a little thought, yet little thoughts, when engaged, have a strange ability to spiral downward and out of control. The next thought that followed the first little thought was: oh no, they don't ship on Saturday--if the books don't get here on Friday (tomorrow), my opportunity for book sales this weekend is lost...

The next thought would likely have spiraled further downward.

Thankfully, I ended the spiral. One word came to me:

Trust

Trust that the books will be here. Trust that they'll arrive on time, in good order. Trust that UPS is competent (after all, they do this every day).

Then I said a prayer (which is where I tend to turn when my mind begins a downward spiral that I know I cannot control on my own). In the prayer, I surrendered all. I surrendered wondering about the books and their arrival time. I surrendered worry. I surrendered the 'what-if's' (the 'what-if's' always seem to be problematic--how come we don't seem to have positive what-if's: what if I succeed; what if all turns out better than I even dreamed).

After the prayer, I was back to my highly optimistic and positive self. And, I am trusting more.

Trust. It's a powerful concept because consciousness creates. When I trust, I am sending out a powerful positive signal which can only beckon powerfully positive experiences. When I trust, I put my mind at ease and relax into quiet confidence that all is well.

Trust begets peace of mind and positive life experiences.

If you're like me, you've had multiple experiences where you haven't trusted. The situations became subject and obedient to your non-trusting state of mind and confirmed your belief while serving up more reasons not to trust.

Why not opt for a new choice? Opt for trust. Choose to trust, after you've done all you can do. Choose to believe that all things work out perfectly for you. Choose to believe that the universe is involved in a beautiful conspiracy to make you successful. Choose to live in the confident knowing of your power to create a reality that brings you absolute joy, peace of mind and abundant prosperity.

Trust.

In conclusion, I'll leave you with the words of the wise and knowing Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."

Valerie Love

Discipline Leads to Freedom

2008-06-11T12:45:00.000-04:00

This whole blogosphere thing is fascinating. I'm in new territory.

I went to Technorati to register my blog. I understand that by doing that, more folks will find and read what I've written. They told me to create a post and add this link to it:

Technorati Profile

So I did. To me, it looks strange to have a link like that right in the middle of my blog. They told me I could create a post with the link in it, and then delete the post. They don't know how seriously I take my writing. My computer is flashing signs at me right now telling me that my 'C' drive is almost full. I've never deleted anything I've written.

This could be my lesson in letting go.

I am now in the blogosphere, and when in the blogosphere, do as the bloggers do. I am posting everyday (even though I resisted doing it for the longest because I didn't want to be beholden to posting every day).

What I've come to understand is that discipline leads to freedom.

Stated another way, Denzel Washington says his mother used to tell him:

"We do what we have to, so we can do what we want to."

I like that. It's the light at the end of the tunnel. It means that after I've done the requisite work, the payoff will be grand. I will enjoy the fruits of my disciplined labor.

Discipline leads to freedom.

So, I'm blogging everyday and not really having to employ a whole lot of discipline because it's what I love to do: I was born to write.

And to make sure folks get the opportunity to read what I've penned, I've claimed my blog at Technorati. I have no idea what that means at this moment, I just know that somehow it will be helpful.

What are my lessons?

I'm trying something new, and I like it; actually, I love it.
I trust that it will all work for my benefit, even when I don't know everything about each step I'm taking. Sometimes it's best if I have less information. Information is not inspiration. As a Libran, the more information I have access to, the longer I can delay making a decision or taking forward moving action.
There are an infinite stream of ways to express my creativity. Why be stuck in a box? Why be hemmed in? Today a blog, tomorrow, who knows?

Step into new territory today. Dare to do something new and creative; something you've never done before. Realize that the chills-and-shivers-up-your-spine feeling is a necessary prelude to living bigger.

To your success,
Valerie Love

Creativity

2008-06-10T11:08:00.000-04:00

This afternoon, I'll be going to my daughter Varonika's school to create Father's Day cards with her 1st grade class. The last time I was there, we made handcrafted Mother's Day cards together. A few months earlier, we did holiday cards.

I love creating greeting cards with Varonika's class, which consists of a bunch of exuberant 6 and 7 year olds, each bursting with creativity. When they make greeting cards, they are in the zone. The creativity flows. There's no limit to how many stickers or embellishments can fit on one card. By the time some of them finish, you can hardly see the greeting card for all the stuff that's stuck on it. Then comes the daunting task of trying to fit the creation into an envelope.

Mrs. Fish, Varonika's 1st grade teacher, always thanks me for coming. What she doesn't know is that I get a kick out of it, so there is a hidden agenda. I confess that I don't do it completely for altruistic motives.

I do it because the 6-year-olds remind me to step into my creative gifts and express them without concern for what other people think.

I do it because the kids show me what lavish living is all about. They are absolutely lavish with their greeting card creations. Lavish living is good.

I do it because I remember what it was like to be 6, and part of me secretly desires to go back to that stage; the stage of wonder, exploration, discovery and seeing the world through a sparkle in my eyes.

I do it because I like to see what it looks like to take a no-holds-barred approach to a project.

I love it. Yes, those 6 and 7 year olds have much to teach me. And I'm watching, learning and growing.

Do yourself a world of creative good and make time to hang out with a bunch of little kids. You may come away with a whole new perspective.

I'll let you know how the Father's Day cards turn out...

Valerie Love

What kind of monkey are you?

2008-06-09T11:26:00.000-04:00

I recently traveled to Kenya on a missions trip. While there, we went on safari. After checking in at the lodge, we each went to our rooms to put down luggage and prepare for the evening safari.

When I got inside the room, I noticed a letter posted on the wall. The letter stated that the resort is in a wild game preserve and it is quite possible to see wild animals at any time. Don't feed any of them, the letter warned, especially the monkeys.

While in the midst of reading the letter, I heard shrieks outside. My roommate and I ran out to see what the commotion was about. As it turns out, a member of our party hadn't read the letter. She made the mistake of tossing a couple of peanuts to a wild monkey. The monkey decided that he wasn't satisfied with the few peanuts she tossed him, he wanted the whole bag. So he chased her. And she ran, all the while yelling hysterically.

Since we were more prone to run from wild animals than the natives, our group yelled, "RUN! RUN! RUN!" We thought we were helping her.

It didn't help. She ran faster and the monkey ran faster.

Our African guide yelled, "Throw down the peanuts!"

Why didn't I think of that?

She threw down the peanuts, after which the monkey promptly scooped up the entire bag and hobbled off, along with his buddies and family members who had joined the party.

I've never seen monkeys like African monkeys. There's no timidity, no concern for the humans or for what the humans might think of them. These monkeys don't believe in settling. They see what they want, and they go for it.

And they're loud. They yell. They shriek. They make their presence known. And they have a reputation. Plenty of Africans told me to beware of monkeys. "Don't attempt to give them one banana; they will come after you for the whole bunch."

I'm a city girl. I was born and raised in Harlem, on the upper west side of New York City. The only monkeys I was familiar with, before meeting the African brand, were the ones I'd seen in zoos, which just don't compare.

The zoo monkeys are living a completely different kind of life. They're not in position to go after what they really want. They have to live on whatever folks give them.

The question for today is: What kind of monkey are you?

Are you the African brand, who knows clearly what's desired and goes for it?

Do you know what you want? Are you going for it? Are you keeping your eye fixed and focused on what you desire and moving on the path to attainment? Do you state what you want, clearly and affirmatively? Do you get what you want through persistence & consistence, without backing down?

Or are you the kind of monkey that's sitting in a zoo, settling for whatever is thrown at you?

Some monkeys may not, but you have choices. You can choose the level at which you play the game of life.

Know what you want. Communicate it clearly and powerfully to the people around you. Then go for it; with devoted focus, until you have your bag of peanuts.

Set your mind, heart and vision on all you desire, never settling for what's being thrown at you.

Be blessed in all your success,
Valerie Love

I haven't brushed my teeth yet today...

2008-06-06T09:59:00.000-04:00

This morning, while gazing at my vision board, I read a quote posted there from Malcolm Forbes. It states:

"Success follows doing what you want to do.
There is no other way to be successful."

A simple truth, yet it may be one of the most violated. How many of us do what we don't want to do in terms of business endeavors, profession, relationships, etc.? And how often? Consider this: How much of your life is spent doing what you don't want to do?

Conversely, precious little time is spent doing what we truly want to do. Hence, the title of this post. I haven't brushed my teeth yet today, and I am happy I haven't (though I will brush them as soon as I'm done writing this). The reason I haven't brushed my teeth yet today is because I've been engaged in doing the things I love; and I haven't taken off my P.J.'s either.

I got up this morning, enjoyed tickling my little lady (my 7 year old daughter Varonika) out of bed. After seeing her off to school, I enjoyed a time of spiritual connection through prayer and meditation. After which I conducted a client coaching session, followed by prayer and meditation. Then, I felt inspired to pen these words.

So there you have it. I confess: I haven't brushed my teeth yet today.

What compels me and gets me jumping out of bed with a zeal and enthusiasm that can't be described? Doing what I love--doing what I want to do.

The reason successful people are successful is because they love what they do. Passion drives success even when will-power and motivation have left the building.

Why don't more folks live with passion? Why don't all of us get up in the morning and dive into what we love without brushing our teeth?

The most common reason I hear from coaching clients about why they don't follow their passions is that they have bills to pay. "I go to work because I have to; I've got bills to pay," is a common excuse.

We each control our own destiny. You are the master of your ship. If you are the master of your ship, then you are the one who determines how your life proceeds, no one else, and definitely not your bills.

Yes, perhaps the way your life is set up now, you have allowed yourself to go to a job every day that doesn't completely fulfill you. Most folks I talk to don't hate their jobs, they just don't feel completely fulfilled; they know they could be living more passionately and they know the amount of potential they're currently tapping is minuscule in comparison to who they are and what they're capable of.

I've got a couple of questions for you:

If you're not passionate about the life you're living now, what's your new choice?
What's your plan to change your current condition and live passionately?
If you don't have a plan to live passionately, how will it ever happen?

As for me, I live passionately each day, choosing to spend my vital life energy on what fulfills me and gets me squirming with delight.

And yes, sometimes I get carried away and forget to brush my teeth.

Today & every day, choose to live with passion,
Valerie Love

Magic Wand vs. Process

2008-06-05T10:54:00.000-04:00

This morning I was conducting a coaching session when an issue surfaced that had been hampering the client's success in business; which then led her to inquire about the fastest means to 'fix' the problem.

During an exploration of her urgent need and compulsion to 'fix' herself and her life, we both had to chuckle when it came up that she wanted a magic wand--something she could use to tap herself on the head and make everything instantly okay.

While she chuckled at her questions, I chuckled at myself, and all the times I've longed for a magic wand to simply wave and, POOF! everything becomes instantly perfect! Just like I Dream of Genie, or Samantha from Bewitched. Those women fascinated me, they could clean a house with the point of a finger or a twitch of the nose. Amazing. I wanted to be able to do that too.

When it comes to the work of personal development and transformation, my wish for a magic wand (that could instantly give me everything I want and just as instantly vanish everything I don't want) works against me.

The instant gratification urge stems from laziness and resistance to doing the work required on the physical plane. Ultimately, fear is the culprit.

Is there a shortcut? Is there an easy way out? Can I take that route? How little can I do and still get by? These questions surface when fear, resistance, laziness--and the hope of getting something for nothing--are present.

At times, we do experience instantaneous flashes of enlightenment that catapult us to the next level--yes, life can, and does, contain magic wands. I believe in magic. And fairies, just like Peter Pan.

Yet, I also know that life is a process. Learning is a process. Transformation is a process. Growth is a process. You don't bring the baby home from the hospital one day and watch the person graduate from high school the next.

Your personal development, growth and transformation are an ongoing, unfolding, ever-evolving process.

Profound joy emerges when you know that you can choose to have as much fun in the process as you'd like.

Today, trust the process, and enjoy every bit of it.

Namaste,
Valerie Love

Timely & Timeless

2008-06-04T09:45:00.000-04:00

This morning in my prayer and meditation practice the idea of spiritual principles came up, and it dawned on me that spiritual principles are both timely and timeless.

I've been thinking more about spiritual principle now than ever before, maybe because recent challenges drew me into a deeper spiritual practice. The other day I was in Barnes & Noble, one of my most favorite spots on earth, and my hubby told me that Oprah was on the cover of Black Enterprise magazine's June issue. Because I love all things Oprah, I dashed over to the magazine rack and picked up B.E. I read the article on Oprah and several spiritual principles jumped off the page.

She spoke of taking commitment very seriously and that in over 20 years of having her company, she has only had to cancel 3x due to dire emergencies.

She referenced using her gut to make decisions, and it's never failed her. Being guided by intuition has bought her to where she is today.

Also in the article was her choice to be a generous and giving soul. Her understanding of people and spiritual law and principle has given her, in her words, "a miraculous life."

Being authentic to herself and what's important to her was evident when she was offered a lucrative opportunity to have a cosmetics line. She asked one simple question in the meeting with the folks who were pitching the idea to her: "Why would I want to do that?" They were stumped. No one had an answer. She didn't do the deal.

Telling the truth, being honest and having high integrity are guiding principles for her as well.

I thought about all the times I made choices based on spiritual principles, which are both timely and timeless, versus the times I made choices and decisions based on ego considerations. The ego choices fail me every time, no matter how slick and glossy they look at the time I'm making the choice.

Our work is to differentiate between what looks good in the moment, but fades over time, and what may not look so great in the moment (like telling someone the absolute and full truth in spite of the risks we may think are involved), yet is timeless. Then we act accordingly, with full trust that the outcome will be the highest and best for all.

When we make choices based on the spiritual principles of truth, authenticity, honesty, integrity, faith, intuition and understanding, our lives are infinitely better and infinitely easier to manage.

Principles for daily living are both timely & timeless. Remember this today as you consciously make choices and decisions. Each choice impacts your entire future.

Loving you,
Valerie Love

Be more. Do less.

2008-06-03T11:32:00.001-04:00

This morning I was furiously swatting at the stray mulch on my driveway which has come undone in the recent wind and rains. Caught up in a sweeping frenzy, I had one goal in mind: to herd the stray mulch back into the bed as fast as humanly possible. I had other things to do. I had stuff to accomplish. No time to waste.

Then it dawned on me how hard I was working and how flustered I was becoming. Beads of sweat popped up all over my body and my arm muscles began to let me know they were doing something out of the ordinary. My breathing was fast and shallow.

It was a signal to me that I had left the 'flow', that space of unimaginable peace which unfolds from within when I am totally present.

Since the universe offers unlimited do-overs (kids know this instinctively, when they mess up, they yell "do over, do over!!!"), I got another opportunity: the opportunity to approach my sweeping with care, presence, attention, focus while peacefully and deeply inhaling and exhaling.

The instant I came present to the moment, a shift occurred. I felt the gentle brush of the wind on my arms. My muscles relaxed. I worked less and got more done. The sweat abated. I felt cool, calm, collected. And the mulch seemed to cooperate with me in returning to its rightful place.

Today, come totally, completely and absolutely present to each endeavor. Today is not the day for multi-tasking. It is a day for giving your full attention, breath, thought, feeling, focus, heart and mind to whatever you are doing in the moment. When you aren't doing anything, even better. Be present to the Presence.

Today's lesson for me: Be more. Do less.

Namaste,
Valerie Love